I am staying on my anti-anxiety medication. If I’d wanted to stop she’d have concurred but it was clear to me that Dr. Shoja thinks there’s merit in continuing so I will — and happily. I admire her neutrality and her commitment to patients making their own decisions.
We talked about dreams — or in my case: nightmares. I told her all I can remember is having nightmares but by some miracle, I stopped remembering them in my thirties — once I met Steve. As with my memories, I somehow learned to shut them out but since I’ve been going to Dr. S. I’ve started having them again.
In the past two weeks I’ve had more nightmares than I’ve remembered in the past four decades. But last night, I had the first nice dream I can ever remember having — and it had people in it. Talk about a big change. I continue to be overwhelmed by the outcomes of my breakdown.
I drove to see Bruce yesterday afternoon and, not liking to drive, I asked myself: How can I make this trip more enjoyable? So first of all, I kept the top up and turned on my air conditioning. Heaven! And then, for the first time, I plugged my iPhone into my car radio and now I can listen to my favourite music easily while I drive (I’ve owned this car for fourteen months) — and if someone calls me, I can use buttons on my steering wheel to answer the call it through my radio!
Not this Saturday but the one after I am going to pick Bruce up, bring him home to his apartment and stay overnight with him. Then, on Sunday morning, we are going to watch the Pride parade from his balcony and then I will drive him back to Holy Family Hospital. A senior sleepover! What fun. And it’s a fireworks night that Saturday night so that’d be fun because Bruce lives right in front of where they’re set off.
Today I finish the defiant dress. I’m adding the final shells and it will be finished. Next I will re-do the pearl dress. I’m changing it from a gown to a skirt. It’s the dress I care for least and so I want to fix it while I continue to wait to hear from the Arts Club.
Today Tim is coming for lunch and tonight is a backyard BBQ dinner with friends.
|This is Fortuny silk fabric. I die every time I see it. Sigh.|
I visited their studio in Venice long ago.