First of all, I was out of the house this morning at 7:30 am to go to see Dr. Pimstone at UBC Hospital.
I did a stress test and couldn’t complete it. Next I wear a monitor for 24 hours, I get an echocardiogram and then I see him again. He mentioned a pacemaker as a possibility but he also said many people with arrhythmia are not treated. I had an immediate instinctual response that I am not going to need one. On the other hand, I could not complete the stress test and when I hurried for the bus, I seriously regretted it due to the angina I experienced. So this could go either way.
My next big adventure is doing The Flame. It’s the story of losing my voice. I’m feeling as confident as I did for all my past stories there, so that’s good.
Just in time for The Flame, I discovered another way to speak. It’s another amazing weirdness about my speech but it’s not likely something I am going to do very often until I practice some more.
But here’s the thing: I’ve been closing my eyes a lot when I talk and I told Dr. Shoja. She said she was not surprised; other people with speech disorders often do so because it shuts off visual stimuli allowing them to focus on speech.
Because I don’t stutter when I read, I wondered if I visualized the words I wanted to say, if I would be able to speak better. And sure enough, I can. I speak slowly when I do it but if I practice, I think I can get better. But I don’t stutter.
It’s exciting because one of the hardest parts of life for me right now is using the phone. I find it really hard to talk on the phone, but now, if I close my eyes and visualize what I want to say I can talk far better.
A weird postscript: I always see blue lines like in scribblers when we were school children when I visualize my words. I can’t help it. It’s just what happens —every time. And my eyes move as I read the words. I can feel them moving.
They follow the line and move down constantly because it’s JUST like in a scribbler. I have to drop down to a new line after several words. I run out of line just like in a real book. I can’t just endlessly read along an unending single line. Weird eh?
|My mother co-starred in a movie with|
Sophia Loren. As a kid, I saw A Boy on
A Dolphin and thought I'd seen a goddess.