And so it Ends

March 27^th will be my last scheduled appointment with Dr. Shoja. I’ll forever have access to her “on demand.” I’ll never stop being eligible to see her and I’ll remember her kindness, generosity and knowledge for the rest of my life. Therapy has been an incredible experience in her care. It’s my decision to stop; I feel ready for life on my own. I know my limitations and I have new tools and skills with which to manage my symptoms.

I’ve felt significantly better for a couple of weeks. The primary credit, of course, must go to Dr. S. and my therapy. Understanding why my symptoms happen has been instrumental in learning how to live with them. But I also give a lot of credit to my decisions to move to Gabriola and get pets. And solitude is another factor. The guests have stopped and the isolation has soothed my broken amygdala.

And then there’s my speech. It’s better too thanks to new breathing and mindfulness techniques that are part of my symptom management strategy.

Flying home in sunshine yesterday I felt excited about my future and the end of therapy (and Spring and Summer). I love my life and I wouldn’t be living here with pets and a brand spanking new studio were it not for the onset of my condition. So I’m at peace with my diagnosis, who I am and my limitations; this contentment may also have contributed to my improvement.

Suddenly everything has come together and I know, I just know, that I’m not going to relapse. I may have dips, I know. Life ain’t always a smooth ride. But I’m confident the crisis is past.

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Darrell finished tiling the floor yesterday. Today, I’m guessing, he’ll grout. So Thursday I should be able to start moving stuff in and my house will be in order for my guests coming this weekend. Between the completion of the studio and my decision to stop therapy, I have lots to celebrate with them.

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Ending my therapy leaves only one remaining tie to Vancouver: My ladies. So my next big challenge is getting them over here. I’m dreading it. They are so hard to move. I face renting a large truck in Nanaimo, driving it to West Van and loading up the 13 mannequins and fastening them into the truck to they don’t fall over as best I can, and then driving back here and then returning the truck to Nanaimo and then coming back here again. If anything sounded like a way to have a lot of seizures, it’s the thought of doing all that alone.

It was brutal moving them from my condo downtown in Vancouver to West Vancouver. When one wouldn’t fit in, I just took clippers and cut it up. I had three seizures, tore a big slice in the truck (I had insurance) and was morbidly exhausted at the end. And this move is way, way worse. So I’m looking to hire some movers and go over to help with the removal and then come back to be here to oversee the installation in my studio.

It can’t be done on a wet day so it won’t be easy to schedule with a corporate mover. If it’s impossible, I will have to be there to bag each one before it goes outside. It can’t be done in advance very easily because the room they are in is crammed full and I can’t disrupt the life of the kind friends who’ve hosted them these past four months.