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This is the letter Dr. S. has given me to share with my doctors. Unfortunately, my condition hates medical stress. Twice in hospital settings, I have experienced paralysis and hospital staff have freaked. They press the ‘code blue’ button and 8-10 medical professionals rush to my aid. Then, when they discover no stroke, I am treated with disrespect for wasting their time and dismissed as a nutbar. This letter is designed to prevent further hassle when I am involved with doctors—like later this month when I get my cataract surgery.
I can’t believe how much better I feel now that I am reconnected with Dr. Shoja. She probably said three times: I will see you as often as you need me. I will always be here for you. That’s always been a primary message to me, and I am eternally grateful. When I awakened yesterday, it was to a world with Dr. S. in it. I feel stronger and better.
Since I began with her, I thought I did not have a mental health issue. If anyone referenced my mental health, I’ve always said it is fine and that my problem is neurological not mental. But I was wrong. Dr. S reminded me that I have CPTSD not PTSD. The ‘C’ stands for ‘complex.’ Complex PTSD is when you have when you have been exposed to prolonged adversity (such as childhood neglect). PTSD is far easier to treat and stems from short-term exposure to trauma. And both PTSD and CPTSD are mental health conditions.
She understands me. She is so clear on cause and effect. I plan to read the last sentence in her letter, over and over again.
•
Yesterday dawned cold, bright and clear. I had a ton of domestic chores to do in advance of Dianne’s arrival. I kept myself busy from 4:30 am until I left to get my heart monitor at 9:00. Once harnessed, I went into the village to get more groceries for Di’s visit and Wednesday night’s dinner. Then I came home to make a big batch of pea soup for us to have while she is here. Nothing beats pea soup in winter!
Just after eleven in the morning, there was Di coming in the back gate. She arrived much earlier than I expected. She got perfect ferry connections, and I was delighted. We got her settled and then I served her the soup for lunch, and we shared a toasted cheese sandwich. Yum!
There was lots of talking, and then it was time for show and tell: I showed her my speech devices and then we had a walkabout through the garden. Speech was mighty hard/bad, but I could express myself. I left her at three to take Her Highness to chase the ball at Rollo Park.
When I got home, there was an email from Issam, my bank manager, saying that the money for David was on its way to him. The bank is doing a bank transfer to David’s bank account. It’s not easy sending money overseas. I had to write a letter to the bank saying who it was for, I had to explain the nature of our relationship and why I was sending him money.
At 5:30, we went to The Haven to get a take-away pizza to have for dinner. Then it was movie time, followed by an early night to bed.
•
Tonight, Mog and Chris are coming for dinner. We’re having a full-on Thanksgiving dinner with turkey and the whole bit. The four of us had Thanksgiving together last year, but we couldn’t get together this year on the actual date, so it’s tonight. Mog and Chris live on the island. Dianne went to high school with Mog, and the two women both love a ‘Chris.’
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