The Tears of Jesus

My all-time favourite New Yorker cartoon by Jack Ziegler.

I love this story; it made me laugh. I love it for two reasons. One: I used to drink all our family Castoria, a laxative that was deeply rich with vanilla flavoring. And two: I swooned over the expression “tears of Jesus.”

“When I was six, my mom caught me trying to eat pure sugar out of the container so she asked me: ‘Would you like to have something even sweeter?’ Of course, I said, ‘Yes! Yes I would.’ So she said, ‘Smell it first and then decide.’ And then she let me smell her bottle of straight vanilla extract and of course it smelled like the tears of Jesus, so I said, ‘Yes, give it to me.’ And she let me take a huge swig and this is why I have trust issues.”