Voice: Round Four

I went back to my GP to start round four of my battle with my voice. I told him I need his help to arrive at a definitive diagnosis and prognosis. He was very sympathetic. He’s been listening to my speech problems for years.

I told Art (my GP) about my lack of confidence in Dr. Morrison. Dr. Morrison is the senior speech specialist at VGH to whom I was last referred; he is also the guywho misdiagnosed me after virtually no consultation.

Art recommended returning to Dr. Morrison and asked how I felt about that. I asked that he write a letter to Dr. Morrison asking him to take me seriously. Art did that; he wrote a letter listing all the things I have done since 2008 and added that I was justifiably frustrated.

There is one weird thing about the letter. I showed Art things I have discovered about my voice that are strange and embarrassing to share:

•  If I plug my ears really hard, my voice improves.
• If I fake an accent, I can talk but am embarrassed all the time.
• If I say one word at a time, I can talk.
•  If I sing, I can talk.

Weird as these things are, they are true. What was weird to me was that Art listed all these things in his letter to Dr. Morrison. These things that embarrass me are now part of my clinical history and I find that even more embarrassing. But if it helps to diagnose me, it’s okay.

Art and I had a frank talk about returning to Dr. Morrison. Art is diplomatic; he sensitized me to the challenges of presenting to a consulting specialist for a re-diagnosis. Some do not take well to having failed the first time and punish the patient. Plus, after my initial treatment, he asked me to come back but when I did, the secretary would not make an appointment for me. She sent me back to Art. 

So now I wait. Last time I was referred to Dr. Morrison, I had to wait eight months — that would be eight FUCKING months. So this time, anything earlier than October will be an improvement.