I went to see my HIV doctor on Tuesday, at his request. I went because I’d not seen him for several years; I’d felt no need to. As soon as I spoke, he (Dr. Montaner, whom I adore) kind of freaked out.
He asked me if I had ever seen a neurologist. I told him I hadn’t. He excused himself and came back with Dr. Guilemmi (whom I’ve seen before) and another doctor.
They asked me about my arms. I told them what has been going on, that they tremble. Twitch and cramp a lot. They asked me about falling and I told them about losing eeling in my legs. By now I was dripping with sweat and speaking with them in my Rand voice because my stutter was so bad.
Dr. Guillemi is going to talk with Dr. Shoja (the psychiatrist who treats me) and Dr. Pimstone (the cardiologist who treats me) to see what they have to say about my speech and they are sending me to a neurologist. If all the specialists all are unable to explain my symptoms, Dr. Montaner is going to change my HIV medications for three months to see if my stuttering and the jerking stop. (One component of my medications can affect the central nervous system.)
They asked if there is a history of Parkinson’s disease in my family. I told them I am adopted. They asked me if I had ever had syphilis; I did, in 1974.
I had to change my shirt when I got home because I was so stressed out by the whole thing I’d sweated myself soaking wet.
I bailed on Dwight and went to Robin’s opening tonight alone. That was a BIG mistake. I couldn’t speak to anyone so I came home early. When I got home, I saw that UBC Hospital had called. There was no message but the number is my cardiologist.
Here I thought everything was settling down. I’d accepted the stuttering and I’ve been feeling rather strong in terms of my C-PTSD. Now I feel something has hit the fan.
I can’t imagine that I have Parkinson’s disease. In fact I am certain I don’t. It seems to me that if I had Parkinson’s I would not have episodes of such clear speech. But it has to be ruled out. Then will come a change in my HIV medications to see if my stuttering stops. So I have another four months of experimentation to go through before, for the second time, I can accept my stutter and get on with life.
When, recently, I was advised of having arrhythmia, it freaked me out. So has this conjecture about Parkinson’s. I can’t help it. Since last April, my life’s been turned upside down. I’ve become a total nervous wreck. I am very lucky to have such dedicated physicians but I want to stop seeing them all the time.