Funnel Cloud and Floor Food

The Pavolova before it hit the floor of my car.

Yesterday's funnel cloud over Georgia Strait.

Saturday was extremely wet. The rain pounded down on my roof as I read contentedly by the fire with Sheba’s head on my lap, the cats on the chaise monitoring our every move.

Displeased with my first meringue base for the Pavlova I took to Di’s for our potluck, I made another one in the morning. It turned out much better, but my oven bakes hot. Next time, I’ll be baking for less time or at a lower temperature when I make it. When I added the whipping cream and filled it with Blackberries, Raspberries, Blueberries and sections of tiny Mandarins topped with tiny bits of mint and edible gold flakes. It looked lovely and delicious. 

Just before leaving for the dinner, Di, our host, wrote to invite me to bring Sheba. I was very happy to get the invitation. I am far calmer in public with her, and far more content to stay longer when we are both out together.

As I drove down the hill on Pederson Road to South Road where Di lives, I gently applied the car breaks and heard a big boom in the back of my car. Yes! The dessert has slid onto the floor. I fumed. All that work down the drain. Only the base of the meringue stuck to the plate. Di decided to break up the base and we had enough for small bowls of meringue with cream and just a few bits of fruit for everyone.

The party was wonderful—really wonderful! We organized it because we miss Gisela and Doug. They stopped walking with us a year and a half ago because Gisela’s knee is causing her pain and making walking on uneven ground unsafe. Her dementia is getting worse, so we wanted to have a party whilst she still remembers who we are. We all love them both to bits.

Today, of course, is wet, wet, wet! I have a Zoom session for orientation for next weekend’s conference and my workshop. And then I plan to do nothing but get cozy by the fire and read. And tonight, it’s Call the Midwife and Grantchester. 

Fabulous STAMMA

While work continues on Merrill and Leo’s lot to the immediate south of me, preparatory work in the lot to the immediate north of me was going on at full tilt yesterday where they were falling more trees in advance of starting construction on their home. THUMP! I giant dull thud would reverberate through the neighbourhood each time a giant Fir tree was felled. It was rather exciting to watch.

My land line isn’t working. Do I care? Not really, given my speech issues. But I tried to report it and dealing with Telus is a total pain. Now, even their chat feature is robotically operated. I could not connect with a person. Euck! I spent all morning this morning trying to reach a live person on the chat feature of Telus’s website and finally succeeded. But what a chore!

My Stamma Zoom group was intoxicating. My sessions online with fellow stammerers are as valuable to me as were my sessions with Dr. Shoja. I adore my peers and I learn a lot from them and from the speech language therapists who host our sessions.  Yesterday’s session gave me energy for my upcoming workshop with the Canadian Stuttering Association.

The other night I watched Minari on Prime and loved it. Then I watched another movie I wish I hadn’t seen. I did not know what was coming.

I continue to learn how to live with FND. I gain knowledge from my experience and reflective insights. I have waves of ‘rough seas’ sometimes, and sometimes I feel like my old self. During the rough patches, I speak with my fake Aussi accent. A speech language therapist and host of my Stamma group asked me, “Why don’t you speak with your accent all the time?” I wish I knew what to think of my resistance. 

I once dated a deaf man. We were very young. He and others of his community disapproved of cochlear implants. My friends saw the devices as symbols of shame and disability; my friends felt completely fulfilled and in no way disadvantaged. I would not dare speak with my accent with my fellow stutterers because there are those who cannot do what I can do. I feel rude using my accent in my Zoom meetings.

Also, for me, if not for others, my voice is a big part of my identity. I feel fake using the accent. I feel somehow unclean using it—if you can believe that. I will, use the voice of course; when my speech is as bad as it is right now. It feels worst to take so much time to say a sentence, so I use the accent. For short periods, I’m fine with it. Five-and-a-half years in, and I still struggle in so many ways with my speech.

Tonight, I go to my potluck dinner with my fellow dog walkers. I’m looking forward to it but it’s going to exhaust me to talk unless I use my accent.

Jay Plans a Move

Oh my God, I love the curry sauce recipe I created. I made a second batch yesterday and am all ready for Dwight’s visit should he choose to come over this weekend. I also finished my second Louise Penny novel. It was a great day that ended with an early dinner at Jay’s house.

At dinner, Jay dropped a bomb: He’s planning on selling his massive place. He has 19 acres and a huge house—like seven bedrooms. He wants to buy a lot on the water and build himself a small home. I’m glad he plans to stay on the island.

Today I Zoom with my adult-onset stuttering group in the UK. It’s at 6:30 pm for them; 11:30 am for me. I get to tell them about my upcoming workshop during the Canadian Stuttering Association annual conference.

Also, I’ll bake a meringue shell for the Pavlova I’m taking to our dog walking group’s potluck supper on Saturday night. If Dwight comes to visit, he’s coming to the party with me. And I’ll start my third Louise Penny mystery.

Friday’s weather forecast is for showers, whereas every other day this week and next is for rain. The prospect of some relief on Friday may mean Dwight makes it over here.