A Good Day

 

Here are ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos taken by a nearby islander. They show the damage from the ‘bomb cyclone’ that hit is last Tuesday.

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Monday yielded a miraculous morning, a morning that improved my mental health which has worsened due to two things: my breathing/energy and the storm.

I got up early and got ready to go to Nanaimo. I’ve needed to go to the motor vehicle offices to renew my driver’s license for quite a while, but for me, going to Nanaimo is akin to you, with good mental health, going to Timbuktu—on foot. I know that I can do it, and I go, but my body was vibrating with anxiety the whole time. But miracles happened.

I got to the Services BC office building 15 minutes early. No one was there and I’d been expecting a long line up as always was the case in Vancouver. I was first in line, and when they opened at 9:00 I was first served, and everything went very smoothly. I had all my forms and cards at the ready, and I’d prepared a note about being mute and why I was there.

Once that was done, I took Her Highness for a walk in Bowen Park where we always like to go. And then we went to Home Depot where I had seen a potential new generator online for sale at around five hundred bucks, but all they had in stock were very expensive machines that produced way, way more power than I need. 

Dejected, I headed to the exit, and once outside, I noticed that there was a huge Rona store right next door, so I went there to see what they had. As soon as I entered the sliding glass doors, a lovely woman who smelled like every beautiful flower in the world, asked me how she could help me. I wrote, “generators?” on my boogie board, and she told me how delighted she was to be able to tell show me a domestic model that was on sale!

She pointed out a gentleman who would help me, and she walkie-talkied him telling him to show me the generators on sale. He was as lovely as she had been because he had bought the same generator mere days before the storm hit and he used it for the same purposes I need mine. It was on sale for $399.00. Every generator in Home Depot was over $1,000. So, I bought it.

When I got in the car to drive it over to the loading dock, I just sat there and cried. I was so relieved to have made a difficult decision and solved my dilemma with an affordable solution. Things have been rough; my relief was overwhelming. A fellow helped me load the generator into the car, and then we headed to Walmart for pet supplies. I got everything I needed quickly, and then Sheba and I were on our way to A&W. I celebrated my good fortune with a Teen Burger. Yum and joy! Then we headed to the ferry, and it had just finished unloading as I arrived, so we were on it in minutes, and home shortly thereafter. 

I expect the worst. That’s an aspect of my problem, so all the good fortune of the day, including a free shopping cart, it all felt like a sign that the world is not as cold and nasty as I expect. I came home feeling blessed, and my need to move feels less urgent.

At 2:00, Pete came by. He is coming over this afternoon to help me get the new generator out of my car and set up. I’m going to try to sell the old one (very cheap) to someone with mechanic skills. Our evening was as usual.

Big Decisions

 In one of my many, many conversations with Dr. Shoja, I said to her, “I just hope that one day I don’t overhear someone say about me, ‘after his breakdown, it was all downhill.’” I saw that in Connie Tyrell after her stroke when I was a kid, but it was all round me. Very common was, “Once he started drinking, it was all downhill.” Lost his job. Lost her husband.

I dodged bullets: AIDS, heart attacks, 17 minutes at the mercy of a drug addicted madman with a knife who wanted money that I didn’t have. The wrath of God.

This breathing/energy problem has the sound of a clicking time bomb to me. It’s giving me an “enjoy what time is left” feeling. Every time I go outside to fetch wood from the shed—the shed being ten meters from my back door—I am exhausted and heaving by the time I drop the wood from my arms onto the hearth. How can I not feel my time is limited here.

If it’s time to move, I don’t want that to happen until Spring 2026. The complexity of the decision boggles my mind. I have three pets. And I don’t want to live life hearing people around me. Yet.

I met one of the realtors here. She seemed nice. I am going to think seriously about calling her to ask her what my house is worth, and then how I might best solve my dilemma of where to go. I hate the thought of moving, and I love this house passionately. But the key word in, “enjoy what time is left,” is ‘enjoy.’

I feel the upcoming meetings and tests will lead to a diagnosis that I will have to live with. I have a strong sense that this energy problem is not treatable. I don’t feel sad about it at all, but I am not looking forward to moving for the first time in my life.

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I’m off to Nanaimo this morning with Her Highness. I must renew my driver’s license and get some supplies for the pets. I hope to make it as quick a trip as I can and get back to Pinecone Park where I feel at my best. MY email service is down today; it’s always something.

My Day!

The glorious sunshine of the early morning didn’t last, but it was still a beautiful morning as Sheba and I walked with Di and her pupper, Charlie. As we passed others, out walking to celebrate the warm weather and having power again. Everyone is buzzing about the storm and its after-effects.

When I got home, I spent the morning putting all the extension cords away, washing dishes and putting everything back in order. I had a nice long chat on Facebook with David (U.K.) and Steve (L.A.). Steve has been very good about checking in with me through this modest crisis. And then Eoin called. He was checking my availability for dinner last night at Woodfire Restaurant. I was thrilled to say a very, very enthusiastic yes!

After my calls, I kept busy with domestic chores. There was so much to do to restore order. I did a big load of laundry, and then I wanted to get outside and do more work on the yard, but it started to rain so I just chilled through the afternoon. I could feel the stress leaving my body.

I went to join my friends for dinner feeling mighty great about going out to eat and seeing them. We had a really great time. We talked and talked about the storm, and when I got home, I was ready for bed. Very ready! 

Today is My Day and it’s wet, wet, wet. I’ll be chilling here at home all day, happy to have power and a fire.

The Storm; Part Two

 thursday

This morning was much easier than yesterday—in terms of the generator. All the extension cords remained in place, so all I had to do was fill up the generator and turn it on. And it worked, thank God. There’s still no Hydro crew on the island Steve and Bruce keep my abreast of the status of our outage by visiting the Hydro website and then calling me on my land line. Oh, how I long for them to get here and for this outage to end! The entire island is without power. That’s 4,000 people.

The rough aspect of getting going this morning was Fred knocking his food dish on the floor and food and broken ceramic was everywhere. And me with no vacuum (it draws too much power to use while I am powering up the fridge). Sweeping in the dark, and I didn’t dare give them the spilt food for fear of there being splinters of ceramic in it, so now I am out of cat food. But Pete and Ali are coming by at 10:30 so that I can drive them to the ferry. On the way home, I’ll buy some water and the cat food. That’ll reduce the sense of chaos in the house. I can give the pets fresh water and boil eggs, pasta and veggies. Plus, one way or another, I will do dishes.

There’s no wind now, and it’s not raining this morning, so I got to do some yard work done. Dave saw me working and arrived with his rake and together we cleaned up my driveway and courtyard. Every little correction helps me feel better. And Steve called from LA. Bruce is visiting him, and Bruce is used to checking the Hydro website for me, and they called early this morning to tell me that a Hydro crew was due at 9:00 am. Help is on the way.

I’m very insecure about the generator. It is acting strangely, so I won’t keep it on all day. Once the fridge is good and cold, I’ll give the generator a break and then start it up again later. 

Ali and Peter arrived at 10:30, and I drove them to the ferry terminal, and on the way home I got more gas for the generator, cat treats and a giant keg of water. Progress! Once home, we all ate and then I did yard work for a couple of hours, very slowly but I did manage to clear half of the front lawn and schlep all the detritus to a pile on the driveway.

Once I was too pooped to continue, I had a spa. The water was warm on the surface and cold in the bottom, but it felt good to be able to splash my whole body with reasonably warm water. I felt clean, and that felt good. I haven’t had a shower since Tuesday.

When I started up the generator for my evening watching DVDs, it would not work, so I spent my night in bed, reading and then sleeping for a long, long time. I took an Atavan. My incredible stress warranted it.

friday

Friday began slowly. I fed the pets, lit the fire and went back to bed. It’s not bright enough to read until 9:00, so the morning passed very slowly. At 8:45, unable to wait until 9:00, I called Doug Robertson the awesome mobile engine service provider. I told him about the blue smoke and my suspicions were confirmed: I’d put in too much oil.

He added me to his list of jobs (I’m seventh in line), but an idea came to mind as I was walking Her Highness in the forest. So, when we got home, I got my turkey baster out of the house and used it to siphon off quite a bit of oil. And then I started the generator and, miracle of miracles, it worked again. But not for long. It stopped running and so I tried getting it going again a few more times to no avail. I was disappointed to know that I faced another day or more without power. Times goes frightfully slowly.

So, I settled in to read and suddenly, there was Doug. He removed more oil and now my generator seems to be working well again. I’m incredibly happy that it seems to be fixed because that means my food won’t spoil and that I can watch DVDs tonight. Doug mentioned that he’d been to the gas station and the pumps aren’t working, so now that the generator is going, I may not have enough gas to keep it working until we get power.

It was clear by 11:00, that the generator is dependable. Its sound is giving me confidence. It is running smoothly, there are no variances in speed, no backfires, no sputtering. It’s brought me relief to hear its steady sound. My food won’t spoil. We may not have power until Sunday, so a working generator is vital. But the big plus, will be watching movies tonight. I just love chilling with a good movie and a big fire.

At 1:00 pm, the generator went out. It shakes so badly that this very heavy machine had moved sideways into the table in my shed. It makes crazy noises as well, so I called Doug and he will come to check it out, but he fears my generator is fucked and that I will have to get a new one. But will I do that? I’m not sure because depending on what I hear from the doctors about my strength and breathing, I may want to move.

Right now, one of the little houses in a compound of small houses close to the village is for sale. I’d like to move there. It may be time to call a realtor so that I can nab the next one that comes up for sale.

Thankfully, my battery charged lightbulbs got me through the evening. I read all night and then went to bed, worried about how today would be for me. I faced having to throw out a lot of food and spending another day of stress and poor mental health. I was very, very glad to go to bed and escape this chaos of Pinecone Park.

At 5:00 am Saturday morning, I was awakened by emergency vehicles going past my house. Their flashing lights caused me to open my eyes. I felt good seeing that vehicle, because I knew that the authorities knew about the tree across our street, and I had hopes that maybe they’d be working in my area today.

Then, at 5:30, boom! The lights came on and so I quickly got out of bed and got to work vacuuming, coiling all the extension cords, and bringing order back into our home. Oh joy, oh joy. Back to email, back to Facetiming friends, back to showering and flushing toilets, and back to easy cooking and my streaming services. Now my sense of self and happiness will return.