Coral

A new deep water coral reef has been discovered off the coast of Australia.

Lazy Saturday

Saturday was a simple day and my first day living with my new outlook, appreciating my endless gift of time with little-to-nothing to do.  My day began at the Farmers' Market, then reading and a coffee date with Dwight followed by cooking of some of my bounty from the market.

Extraordinary foliage, n'est pas?

A dozen peach tarts for Dwight and family. Laura just had
an emergency appendectomy, so treats are in order. 

And for me and any guests who happen by...

Thinking Wrong

I have been thinking "wrong;" I have been despairing for quite a while about boredom and my solitary life without a project or a partner. Now I realize that my endless empty calendar is a gift. I am very lucky to be able to do nothing and I will not lose this consciousness (if at all possible) throughout the balance of my life. I will consider each empty day an opportunity. Amen.

Friday

Leon did not puke in the night and he ate in the morning. Then he went to bed and into a deep, deep sleep, so I walked to the P.N.E. and back. I stayed just over an hour. I visited the animals, had a burger and left, preferring the walk to the fair. The problem with the fair, for me, is so much that it isn't anymore (compared to what it once was).

The Buddhist temple on the way to the fair.

The Terror of Loss

Last night I could not sleep I was seized with so much grief because Leon was so sick again in the evening. I had gone to bed when he started growling/howling as he had done in the morning before being so sick, so often and for so long. I got up and was with him through another bout of endless vomiting.

I cleaned up after him and then just watched him as he lay on the sofa. Eventually, I returned to bed, but I would be overcome with anxiety/grief from deep, deep within me. My breathing became labored; I was in deep stress because Leon is my soul mate.

Eventually I took a half an Ativan and I as I was lying there waiting for it to take effect, I heard Leon eating and then he came to sleep with me. That was wonderful, having him curled up beside me where I could fall asleep with him in my arms.

I was awaked by him jumping onto my bed this morning and he immediately started purring—a good sign. Then he ate, drank water and went to the bathroom and so all seems good this morning and thank God.

Of course this morning, I cannot concentrate on anything. Every five minutes I am going to look at him and see how he is doing—seeking reassurance that whatever was wrong is passed. And it appears to have done so. Consequently, I have to go to a church today and give thanks.

Cat Stress

Puke in the hallway, on the scratching post, in the living room, in the bathroom, in the bedroom and in his litter box; Leon, owner of my heart and soul, is sick. Meow. And besides vomiting, the muscles on his back are twitching. I think he has eaten something bad but I cannot imagine what.

So I have been lying on the sofa all day with him on my chest, watching and comforting him as best I can. Now, there are signs of improvement. He is sleeping.

Here is another Photo Dump. (Please click on one to see them all at their best.)

Overdose: My Legal HIgh

Beach Avenue garden; Sept. 1, 2015.

Same garden.

And again—all with no Photoshop!

When you take "dangerous" or "strong" medications, you have to do so consciously. I relied on a plastic pill tray into which I could load a month of my daily medications. I also routinely kept a diary of the readings of my daily tests that help me to determine how much of one medication I should take, but a few months ago I stopped using the trays and recording my volumes of data.

Instead, I just took my pills from the bottle and did my tests without recording the data and everything was fine until the other night. The night in question occurred during the irregularity of having a procedure on my lungs and then some "tough love" in the form of a 40-minute treatment of inhaling Ventoline—that night, I took my HIV medication and got into bed to read.

But then, after reading and forgetting I had already taken my HIV meds, I took more and went to sleep. When I woke up, I was on a speeding train racing through the streets of my memory. My HIV medications are psychotropic, so I was hallucinating like crazy. It was like being on a train racing through images on movie screens. It was overwhelming.

I luckily went back to sleep and then, an hour later, I woke up again. The relentless barrage of images was over and instead I had a vision of a new life in Stratford, Ontario. It was 2:30 am, but I got up and started looking at houses for sale in Stratford. Guess what? I could live in a fabulous home there for the same price as my downtown Vancouver condo.

I was very intent on selling here and moving. I thought it would be fabulous and friends from here would come to visit and stay with me during the theatre festival. And I saw myself easily living there without a car, using the train to visit Toronto and Montreal. Then I went back to sleep and when I woke up, I was happy to be here and I got out my pill tray and started using it again.