Fabulous Hands

LA comedian and musician Mike Phirman uses his hands to perform an amazing cover of Sterling Holloway's rendition of "Trust In Me (The Python's Song)" from Disney's classic 1967 animated film, The Jungle Book.

Friends and a Frame

This is the object of my affection, Rob. We call our relationship a bromance.

This is my friend, John, on his back steps with his sculptures. We both love making things and discussing the process.

I’m going to get some speech therapy after all. I am keen to learn techniques for improving my speech because I have doubts from what I have read in the Stuttering Foundation literature that I will ever be free of it. But, I may be able to learn to regain some control over my speech.

I’m suddenly swimming with things to do here while under house arrest. I am reading The Corrections, fixing and finishing the Peacock dress, I’ve started the Cardinal dress (I am building the form; see below) and I have my lines for The Flame to memorize. This is, for me, ideal.

Almost Finished

LOVING the Suttering Foundation

Crying in the waiting room. I wonder what the other waiters were thinking.

I had a CT scan late yesterday afternoon. I’d spent all day indoors working on my Peacock dress so on my way out I picked up my mail and it had my first magazine from the Stuttering Foundation.

While I was waiting for the scan, I decided to read the magazine. That’s what made me cry; I was overwhelmed by that “I’m not alone” feeling.

In particular, it was an article about Budd Schulberg, the author of the screenplay for On The Waterfront, who stuttered. “He [Budd] mentioned a conversation with one doctor in which he stated that his own father, the famous B. P. Shulberg, also stuttered — but as an adult, only under times of stress.” That’s me.

Also: The Foundation has made a film called A New Look at Stuttering. They’ve posted a promotional video about it on Youtube and all the speakers in the video appear to be stutterers yet in the video they are not stuttering! That’s me too!

And another thing: I’ve said the word “hotel” with the accent on the first syllable for years. My friend Bruce conjectured that is was due to exposure to the Indian pronunciation of the word whilst I was in India. But I don’t think that is the reason.

If I try to say the word with the accent on the second syllable, I cannot say it. Nothing comes out. But if I say the word with the accent on the first syllable, it is easy to say. This is a common trick stutterers use and I was doing it unconsciously.

Learning this and all the other insights I derived from the magazine were — there’s no other word for it — exciting! And that is why I cried.

Why do I not stutter after a seizure? Here’s what I learned from Budd Shulberg: “Master Tarbell and I were members of the track team and we’d relish sprinting because afterwards we’d hyperventilate and have totally fluent speech.”

Why am I confident of my upcoming Flame story-telling that I’m delivering in rhyme and semi-singing? Budd: “A group of us would walk around in a large circle, performing like seals, first singing the lines that the therapist gave us, then repeating them in a singsong voice.” Me again.

In the back of the magazine are letters to the Foundation from child members. I was touched by the self-portraits stuttering and the revelations of the letter. But it was Maddie’s letter that had me bury my face in the magazine while I was waiting for that CT technician to call me into her laboratory.

“Hi. My name is Maddie. I’m nine years old. I have something that helps me not stutter. It is called my robot voice.”

I have named my voices too: I have Tonto, Rand and Robovoice. Then there’s “my” voice, the stutterer. Reading that not only does Maddie name her voices, but that we share a Robot voice just got to me. Imagine: A sixty-eight year old man crying in a waiting room over a letter by a nine-year-old over kinship.

The kids in the letters kept referencing “pull out” and “cancellation” in their letters. These are clearly coping techniques for stutterers that I knew nothing about.

Cancellation: After a stuttering event has occurred, the pws waits a few seconds and then produces the word again in an easier manner that is slower and controlled. Another option is to reproduce the stuttered word fluently.

Pullout: PWS must catch themselves in a moment of stuttering and then produce a pull-out, easing themselves out of the stuttering event. The speaker must not rush through the rest of the word, but produce it slowly and in a controlled manner as when canceling a stuttered moment.

What got me here was the term, “stuttering event.” I had no idea other stutterers were episodic like me, or that words starting with H or W are hard for all “pws” (people who stutter).

I am so not alone. Neither am I unique. I am part of 1% of the population. And I am so incredibly happy to have discovered the Foundation.

Three-Quarters Done

It's imbalanced. I'll fix that. And perfect symmetrically is impossible for me, but I am happy with it still and when it is on top of the skirt I think it will really be striking — and its entirely tissue paper and tape.

Look Ma, No Pins!

I am thrilled with the progress of the bodice of the Peacock dress. All you see is secure. It is all one p piece. Now I have to finish  is, working my way 'round, counter-clockwise. I should be finished this week. But it's really uplifting to see it assembled without all the pins. I'm going to be attaching ribbons to the back of the bodice so that it is tied together at the back. Doing t his makes it adjustable for women of differing sizes.

Next is memorizing my lines for my Flame gig. Then I'll becoming back to the dress; I'll be finishing up with the headpiece, gloves and shoes.

Dress, Socks and Drugs

This is the back of the dress that will have ties
so as to fit people of differing sizes. All you can
see in this photo is already taped together. The
bodice is almost half finished.

The photos of my peacock dress consistently fail to please me but the dress is a constant source of pride and joy. I am addicted to the high of seeing it take shape. But I’ve been worried about how to get the dress off the mannequin and assembled — I designed it by pinning almost a hundred and fifty pieces of folded paper onto the mannequin.

I thought I’d wait until today, Monday, to go to Dressew and get some invisible tread with which to sew it all together but I dreaded the both the physical act of the sewing plus how my uneven manual stitching would ruin the look — making the paper pucker.

But yesterday, I started tinkering and by the afternoon I was successfully getting the bodice off the mannequin, retaining its shape and integrity. Right now, it’s held loosely together with tape; once I get it off the mannequin I’ll reinforce it on the back.

I get positively giddy when I look at the breast-covering part of the bodice. I keep caressing it because I am so pleased with how the paper takes the shape of the mannequin and holds it when released from the form. I am beyond pleased with it.

I can hardly wait to see it together and then worn by someone. I love the juxtaposition of the feathery skirt and the tightness of the paper bodice.

As I work on the peacock dress, I am already thinking about the Cardinal dress I plan to make next.

•

I have thrown every single pair of socks that I own.

When I collapsed on the seawall and was taken to the hospital, they did an electrocardiogram that suggested some kind of (mild) problem with my heart. They told me to follow up with my own doctor and I did: He ordered another ECG and as a result of that, today I am getting a CT scan.

Whatever concerns them may account for my swollen ankles — a condition that is driving me crazy because the elastic in my socks makes my socks feel like torture devices. They cut of circulation to my feet so I Googled “non-binding socks” and discovered “diabetic socks.”

(Please note: That’s how Amazon lists them in spite of their being no (insulin producing) Islets of Langerhans in socks.)

I ordered a lot of socks. That aspect of the problem is solved. As for my heart, I’m not concerned. I feel fine.

•

There’s interesting medical news coming out of the UK. British scientists are optimistic about a possible cure for HIV. In a recent clinical trial, a test patient had no symptoms of the virus following treatment.

Though it’s still early, those involved are hopeful for a breakthrough:  

“This is one of the first serious attempts at a full cure for HIV. We are exploring the real possibility of curing HIV. This is a huge challenge and it’s still early days but the progress has been remarkable.”

The significant advancement involves combining antiretroviral drugs with two other components: One that reactivates dormant HIV and another that impels the immune system to destroy the infected cells”

HIV is able to hide from the immune system in dormant cells that allows the virus to resist current therapies. This new treatment causes the virus to emerge from its hiding places and then triggers the body’s immune system to eradicate it.

Better than socks!

I loath all things Koons.

From the US beard competition.