A Wonderul Visit With Ally & Peter

tuesday

Tuesday morning was hectic. Ally emailed to ask if I had a barbeque, and I told her I did, but that meant I had to get it out of storage and clean it. I made their beds, I made us a galette for dessert, I chopped some wood to have on hand, and I tidied up the shed. Then it was time for lunch. I fed the brood and myself and was busy cleaning up afterwards when Ally and Peter arrived.

They are great, great friends. I don’t know Peter as well as I know Ally, but I love him because he loves my dearest Ally. And they arrived with a large box of food. Peter loves to cook and he’s a great cook. He worked for years in the restaurant business; he made us an incredible, wonderful, delicious meal and plentiful meal. Food made for you always tastes better than food made by oneself, don’t you find?

It was beyond wonderful to be together, and we quickly and comfortably fell into a rhythm. We are very compatible. As Peter began his preparations, Ally and I walked Her Highness and Ally loved the sunshine, the lovely warm temperatures and she was amazed by the trees in the forest. When we got home, I just about died from the beautiful fragrances of a meal in progress. What a treat being cooked for!

Peter’s meal was orgasmic. Oh my God, it was good. We ate and chatted and laughed a lot and then while Peter watched the hockey game, Ally and I got all the reservations done for their ferries back to Vancouver, and then she and I did the dishes. And after a full day, we all went to bed just past 9:00 pm.

 

wednesday

Everyone awoke this morning, well rested. It rained in the night (hooray!) and so yesterday was slow and spent indoors. We started the day with a walk; Sheba, Ally and Peter joined me for my morning walk with my dog walking friend. Then we came home and Peter and Ally got ready to leave to spend the day with Ally’s birth mother.

I napped twice during the day and did little. I felt exhausted from so much stimulation. They came home at 4:00 and they’d had a huge meal with Sherrie, so we settled in to watch a movie and then I had dinner while Peter watched some of the hocky game. After the movie, we spent the rest of the evening chatting before we all went to bed early.

We’ve had a really wonderful visit together. I was crying as they pulled out of the driveway; I shall miss them dearly for a while. They have left behind a very wet day. Finally, we are getting real rain. I’ll spend the afternoon reading and puttering around the house. And life will get back to normal—a wet normal because we’re in for several days of rain.

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My bad eye, the one getting shards of white light, is much, much better. Ally helped me cancel the appointment with my eye surgeon, but next week I will see the optometrist, just to ensure that all is okay.

Baby Reindeer: YES!!!!

Monday began with a dog walk with my friends and their dogs. Then I came home to tidy up and clean the house before the arrival of Peter and Ally tomorrow. Plus, I wanted to call my ophthalmologist to get underway with my fixing my eye. 

I called the clinic—thank God for the Telus IP Relay Service that makes my calls for me—they gave me an appointment for 3:00. And Ron called; he’s taking Sheba for a walk at 1:00 so that she could be comfortably left at home resting when I go to the clinic. I’m nervous about what’s ahead. More medical appointments, possibly an operation, and disruption. Plus, I likely won’t be able to do chopping or fitness for a few weeks if it is a detached retina.

I did yard work all morning, re-doing work I’d just recently completed—raking up and removing forest fall from the yard. A strong windstorm brought a lot more forest fall down late last week, and another large branch damaged and already damaged fence even more. I enjoyed doing the work because Pinecone Park is looking so good, and it was a beautiful warm and sunny day.

The evening brought welcome rest to my bones. I finished Baby Reindeer on Netflix—a most amazing story with magnificent acting. I very highly recommend it. It’s funny, it’s poignant and it’s frightening; I was thoroughly engrossed right from the start. The series began as a show in the Fringe Festival show. It was a surprise hit and moved to London’s West End where Richard Gadd, the author and lead performer, won an Olivier Award. Don’t miss this show!

I kept dozing off through the evening as I watched shows, so I went to bed early. I wanted to be in good shape for today when Ally and Peter arrive.

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I'm going to cancel my appointments with the eye doctors because the problem has resolved itself. There are only little tiny shards of light now. I am no longer worried about my vision, and I don't want to waste the time of busy doctors. Instead, I'll wait and see how things go. If it gets bad again, I'll do something, but for now, life goes on as normal!

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AndAnd hurrah!! Rain is coming tomorrow—well, maybe drizzles, but there’s rain predicted for several days. At some point, I hope there is real rain because the gardens are drying out far too early in the year. It’ll be back to living indoors for a while. 

Chop Chop; Eye Trouble

Sunday was another gorgeous day. My fears about a long dry Summer are increasing. The ground is totally dry and there’s no rain in sight on the forecast. It’s just April, the month made famous for showers, and I’m having to water the gardens already.

Her Highness and I walked a short walk in the morning, and at 9:15, I started schlepping wood from one woodshed to another. I must do this to keep the well-seasoned wood together and accessible. My first goal of the day was to clear out one shed to receive the new wood that Kevin and I are chopping. I reckon I’ll have to buy 2 cords of wood, but when I first came here, I was buying 6 ‘cords’ a year. (They weren’t true cords, but they were sold as such.)

I finished that chore by 11:00 and had lunch. I also fed the brood. I was desperate for the break because my back was screaming sore. I had to bend to pick up all the wood to put it in the wheelbarrow, and then stack it in the dry shed. I took a good break before starting my second task of the day: chain sawing the biggest branches that were all around where we are working on the fallen and bucked trees. It’s amazing how much wood I can salvage from branches for burning next Winter.

Just before noon, I took a deep breath, went outside, fetched the chain saw, started sawing up the branches, loading the pieces into the wheelbarrow and then stacking them in the drying shed. This work exhausts me, yes, but I love doing physical labour. I truly do. Perhaps that’s a boy thing. It’s almost fun if I take breaks. Plus, I feel so chuffed to be harvesting firewood for Winter from my own land.

At 12:30, Kevin and Shelly arrived to help. me for a while. They had people viewing their home that’s on the market, so they came here to help me. The chucked rounds we are breaking down are 2.5 meters across and 50 cm thick. We flip the round onto one side, and with the wedges, we break it into large and very large pieces. These pieces are the first cut. There’s about 8 of them. That’s the work that Kevin does. 

While Kevin chopped some of the massive round, Shelly and I schlepped the second chop pieces into the drying shed. They helped me until 2:30 and I came in and wrote to a fellow who helped chop some of the rounds last year. He’s Joe, and I hope he’ll come back to do more of the work Kevin has been doing. The more wood I harvest, the less I must buy.

It had clouded over. I got immediately into the spa. Oh, that wonderful healing feeling of being warm all over. Without thinking, I find my eyes close as soon as I’m in the water. It’s a pattern that just happens; it’s so immediately calming. When I got out, I knew this was going to be one of those rare days when we don’t go for our afternoon walk. I wanted to light a fire to warm up the house, and putter about the house. Allyson and Peter come on Tuesday.

Today, I’ll be doing some clean-up of the yard because there was a windstorm on Saturday night that brought down a lot of material into the yard, including two large branches.

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Mad Man’s Diary: I did not expect Kevin on Saturday. He just arrived with his maul and two stell wedges. The wedges are a wonder to use. Kevin showed me how to find the right place to split a large piece of wood. I was working on Nancy’s birthday cake, but I wasn’t having a neighbour come to do work for me without me working along beside him, so that’s what I did. And then I had to rush on the cake, feed the pets, shower, shave and change, and get to the party.

I crashed at about 8:30. Stacy brought me a heating pad to put on my chest, she walked me to a sofa to lie on, and she left me alone. The best part for me was this: she left me alone. That helps me more than anything. That’s the best way for me to get back to functional. And then I went home, and all through the night I was awakened by very painful cramps in my legs, arms and hands. I had a very uncomfortable night.

The right thing to do might be to have said to Kevin: Thank you for offering, but I’d like to do the work with you, and I can’t today. I chose to accept volunteer labour when it’s convenient for my friends. I did it and prepared to be late for the party, and being late wasn’t going to be a problem. Still, it was like, at 8:30, my body said, “I’m done.” And I became a wreck.

All that was too much for me. It brought me to consciousness of my vulnerability.

I thought about it, pondering what aspect of the day was bothering me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my brain says to me: Pete made appointments. 

My first lessons with Dr. Shoja were about the amygdala and its function. I won’t bore you with the medicine, but I’m glad she educated me because if I ever should run into someone who wants to know more about what I t’s like having my particular form of mental illness, I can answer their questions. The amygdala is commonly considered the “fight or flight” response centre for the brain. Dr. Shoja told me that mine was stuck on the highest alert.

Kevin wasn’t part of my plan for the day. If he hadn’t come, I think my evening would have been fine. But Kevin is not the problem, it’s my reaction to things not going as planned. And there’s more to learn from this as well: I can sustain the visits of drop-byes if the visits ae very short. It’s only the long ones that send me into symptom land.

Big lesson learned.

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Last night, I started noticing white lights arcing across the left field of my vision. I went to Google and got a confirmation of what I suspected: a detaching retina. I will call my ophthalmologist (via the TTY service) to see what I should do, but I don’t want to do anything until Thursday if I can help it, because Ally and Peter will be here as of tomorrow.

It’s a thin line of light I see, so maybe waiting a couple of days is okay. If I am right about what is going on, I face a few weeks of no fitness or strenuous exercise. 

The work area. I had to create a trail to the felled trees and clear all the 
brush from the area in which we were working. There is a ton of work for
me to do, but it's good work and has no deadline.

These are the massive rounds we are breaking down. As we move down the tree
the rounds are over two meters wide. These ones are still too wet to chop into
smaller pieces, so I will get them spaced apart so that they dry for next year

A Brutally Busy Day

Stacy and her Otis, and me and Her Highness went for a brisk morning walk together. We left here at 8:00 and we got back just after 9:00. Then I got busy with baking the cake I envisaged making for the party, that’s when life turned into a series of disasters. First, I did not like the look of the meringue. It was serviceable, but I was worried about putting it into the cake. I’m going back to regular meringue instead of Italian meringue; or I will practice some more with the Italian variety.

My attention turned to the genoise cake. To be honest, the batter looked iffy as I weighed it so that each of the two cakes would be the same size. If I’d been setting out to invent a new organic rubber, my work might have been considered a success. But as food, it was consigned to the garbage. I was supremely disappointed. However, undaunted, I began another cake and the second cake came out brilliantly. 

The most fun was chopping up a bazillion strawberries, and then whipping up some whipping cream mixed with icing sugar and red food colouring. I made a lovely bowl of a beautiful pale pink fluffy confection that I wanted to eat right away, but first I added a lot of mascarpone cheese and then I folded in all the diced strawberries. This concoction will go between the layers of the cake.

Then I made white butter cream with which to undercoat the cake. I layered it on and worked it until it formed a (failry) smooth covering. And then Ron arrived to take Sheba for a walk, and while he was here, Kevin arrived with 2 steel wedges and a maul. While Ron walked Her Highness, Kevin and I chopped wood. Kevin did the hard part, I just supported him by chopping all the pieces he made from the fallen and bucked trees.

We got quite a bit done, but the heavy work broke me. I had a pretty big seizure and had to take a brief rest. Shelly arrived and helped us as well. She helped clear a path from the gate in my fence to the fallen wood. They’re coming back today while their house is open for possible buyers, so we’ll get more wood chopping and toting done.

When they left, I came in and made some red mirror glaze for the cake. But man-oh-man I was tired. I was dragging myself around the kitchen and dreading the party. I just wanted to watch a bit of TV and then to go to bed early. A human wreck carried the cake to the car, then Sheba and I headed for Stacy’s and Nancy’s birthday party.

I had 2 seizures at Stacy’s, and the second one would not end. I left early, after a wonderful, fabulous dinner cooked by Kris and Stacy. I came home and went directly to bed, but the night was horrid. I was kept awake by cramps all night. 

I’ve learned something new about this condition; I have vey limited endurance. If I push myself too hard, as I do at fitness and as I did yesterday chopping and hauling the wood, I become too overwhelmed to function properly. I had too much on my plate with the baking and the chopping. I’m going to be more careful about how much I take on in the future.

But I’m into the woodworking today because I have the night to chill with my pets and the television. Oh the joy of reclining by a fire tonight.

Just one photo today; I have a busy day ahead of me.

More Gardening; Another Cake

What a wonderful day I had yesterday. It was a shorts and t-shirt day; it was a lovely 18° in the afternoon, and I skipped fitness because I had a lot to do yesterday, and today will also be busy.

Our day began with a walk with our friends, and everyone was buzzing with glee because it was so lovely out and the forest, full of every green you can imagine, was shining. All the big Maples have their light green shimmering keys dripping off every branch, and soon they will be leafing out. The light green is gorgeous in amongst the dark colours of the conifers.

We came home after our walk and then we went into the village for supplies. I got food and another flat of flowers for the yard. When I left the nursery, Clarence said, “See you tomorrow.” But I’m almost done now. Everything is looking great. (Pictures below.)

I worked hard for the rest of the day planting and cleaning my decks. The huge amount of pollen on absolutely everything was disgusting. The deck looks a lot better now, and after sprinkling most of the gardens, the leaves are free of pollen now and shining with life. The shocking thing is that I’ve begun watering already. We haven’t had real rain for a very long time.

When my back stated hurting, I went into the house, washed like a surgeon, and then made Italian meringue, and that involves working with melted sugar that’s 121°C. Me, Mr. Shakes, pouring hit sugar. But I did it. I believe that when I’m focused on doing something I love, that my brain goes to sleep. Baking is my zen place. Tomorrow, I make Nancy’s birthday cake. The meringue will be one layer of a five-layer cake.

At 4:00 I had a spa and a snack; at 5:00 I walked, dressed for Summer, through the forest with Her Highness; at 6:00 I fed the brood, made dinner and sat down on the chaise with my remote. Good weather intoxicates me. I stay busy doing something I’m passionate about, I breath the freshest of air, I get exercise, I make Pinecone Park beautiful, and it all makes me terribly happy.

I also love these days because I am alone, and I don’t speak and so I feel normal. It’s like there’s nothing wrong with me.

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Yesterday, on our second walk, I was thinking about the beauty of the day, and I asked myself, ‘I wonder what the temperature is.” And as I said it, I raised my arm to look at my watch.

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The BC Parks Board will be implementing an experiment, designating some trail in their park system as silent trails. Me, and people like me with neurological diagnoses and/or PTSD, and people on the autism spectrum, and people grieving — I can think of so many types of people who would value silent trails.

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Today was predicted to be cloudy with showers, but there ain’t a cloud in the sky. Wahoo! It’s 7:30 and I’ve already built a rock wall around another tree so that I can make a garden surrounding it. And, hurrah, I’ve made my meringue layer successfully. I was going to make two meringue layers, but not this time. Instead, I’m making one thick one.  Next time, I’ll likely use French meringue and I’ll add some cream of tartar.

Stacy is about to arrive for a morning walk with our dogs, then I’ll get to baking the cake before I go back to the nursery for more plants to put in the new garden.

Here are some photos of this place I love so much.

My herb garden is really coming along.

My raspberries were savaged by the cold snap, but they are
making a bit of a comeback. We'll see how things go.

Pure Joy

What a fabulous, wonderful day of work I had yesterday, and it was done in spectacular Spring weather. I worked in shorts and a t-shirt in the afternoon. It was 16°!

When I went out to work in the morning, the fountain came on at 9:00. It is on a timer; at 9:00 suddenly there was the sound of tinkling water, and all the hummingbirds came in for a drink. They gathered around the top where they land to bathe and drink. 

My walk with Sheba was short because I wanted to keep working and because neighbour Ron let me know he’d be walking her mid-day. I was so stoked to be working. Normally at this time of year, I’d be stacking and chopping wood, but I chose to focus on the yard and gardens first, so that the sanctuary can be restored and will be a lovely place of healing during the dreadfully tiring work of stacking next Winter’s wood.

Something has changed in me. I found yard and garden work onerous in the past. All the bending and toting was a drag, but not this year. I am loving every second I am out there, and I reckon I love it so much because the gardens look so rich lush and full this year. Six years of work is really paying off! My yard and gardens are a wonderful source of pleasure to me now.

I worked on weed eating the yard and cleaning up all the branches and cones. It’s wonderful work because the yard is revealed with a low, lush green carpet (of mostly weeds). From the courtyard, where most people gather, the yard looks wonderful. The backyard is large; there are two smaller expanses of raw surface, and one quite large one. In the morning, I finished the two smaller sections, after lunch I did the large one while Ron walked Her Highness.

Once my yard work was done, and Her Highness was back, we went into the village to buy another current bush, a large container for it, a rhodo and some soil. And then I went to Eoin and François’ place for more rocks. Once back home, I got back to work in the garden for a bit before making dinner. 

Today, I’m thrilled to be back working in the yard. It’s another beauty of a day and I don’t have the heavy demands of yesterday. I’m going to tidy up one garden today. Maybe I’ll get two done, but I’ll quit early to make the meringue disks I need for the cake I’m making tomorrow.