R.I.P. Leon

Today he let me know it was time. I drove to the vet but I could not get through the door. It was just so incredibly hard. And when I did get inside all I could do was cry. We came home and lay on the couch together; with him on my chest. That’s what I’ll remember, that last lie down together. Then I took him in. I could not hold him, God forgive me. I’d hyperventilate if I did and maybe seize.

What a love we had. What a fabulous perfect life we had together. What an ideal friend he was and how honored was I that he chose me!

When I came home I put his scratching post/bed, his blanket on the hearth and his dishes in the shed where I wouldn’t see them for a while.

I glad it was sunny. I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad for every minute he was in my life. I’m really glad I have to fetch Paula and will have her company this weekend to keep my spirits up.

A FUN Visit

I cried myself to sleep last night. The tears diet continues...

At 4:30 the vet called. She’s calling back today once she talks to a radiologist about a shape on the x-ray she thinks may be a tumor. Then she started talking about euthanasia — not in a cold or mean way, in a compassionate way. Still, the word felt like a stab in the heart.

However, the rest of the day was a delight. Bruce and Caryn arrived shortly after eleven-thirty. Patsy came at noon. And I had Skype on so that our friend Beth in TO could join us digitally for a while. I could not have wished for a nicer day for their visit.

I loaded the bird feeders so my guests would see my avian menagerie and they were treated to a diverse avian frenzy. Caryn particularly loved the birds.

It all went so quickly though. Caryn and Bruce had to leave just after 2:00 to catch the ferry back to Vancouver Island to carry on to Denman Island where they were going to stay with our friends Bill and Marsha. Their departure broke up the party.

Bruce and Caryn hadn’t seen my place before. They liked it; the sunshine, of course, made it shine. And they watched Leon outside exploring while I did my final prepping for lunch. Sadly my speech was pretty dreadful. I had a lot of difficulty speaking whilst my friends — good and trusted friends — were here. No one cared except me.

My speech, right now, is as bad as it’s ever been. There’s been absolutely no improvement. However, I understand why and know far better, the kinds of things and places to avoid. Patsy, for example, wanted me to join her at the fireworks for Halloween that the firefighters here host. But that’s impossible.

After they left I went to the garden store and ordered two yards of topsoil and a Vine Maple tree to plant inside my new fence. They come this morning and so does Darrell to start the fence. Meanwhile, I go to the local notary’s place to sign papers that will close the sale of my condo.

Back to Leon: He’s clearly slowly passing. He won’t eat and his passion for grass makes me think the vet is right. It’s like he’s trying to throw up whatever it is we saw on the x-ray. But when I cuddle his frail body, he purrs. I feel as long as he’s sleeping and purring in my arms, life is worthwhile for him.

Late today, I’m heading to Nanaimo to fetch Paula who’s coming for the weekend.

Christening the Dining Room

Yay! It’s Bruce, Caryn and Patsy For Lunch Day. I’m just a little excited.

Yesterday began with a plaintive cry from Leon. I hurried out of bed, thrilled to hear a voice that had been silent for three days. I fed him … and he ate a little! And I saw him drink — all this after three days of pure lethargy and no food or water.  

We cuddled, he purred, I cried, we cuddled some more and then I lit a huge fire to keep him warm. I kept it going all day. His improvement really lifted my spirits. And this morning he woke me at 4:30 for food. He’s definitely here for a while longer.

He’s not in pain and as long as he continues to love lying by the fire and take in food and water, I’m loving every second we have together. I’m going to take him out for a little walk in the sunshine today. I know he’s up for it and it’ll make him feel good.

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And … I’m feakin’ giddy because tomorrow work starts on my fence!

I’ve contracted a practical and ethical man (Darrell) to build my fence and to renovate my studio. Once the fence is done he’ll start on the studio. He gave me confidence as we discussed both projects. It’s going to be pricey, for sure, but I’m going to have a studio that excites me as much as my home and serves as another guest room. And … I’ll have a safe yard for Leon and Sheba.  

I’m going to remove the current dropped ceiling and put a wood ceiling under the rafters and put in lots of shelving, bright lights and a wood floor so it’ll be nice a cozy place. Darrell has an associate who can mill the large tabletop I want for my work surface and best of all: We can install a woodstove! I’m over the moon about that.  

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I cooked and baked all day yesterday. I made a delicious thick Italian main: Tomato, Chickpea and Bread Soup (recipe: Yotam Ottolenghi) that I’ll serve with honey and pumpkin seed bread from the local Slow Rise bakery. And I made my favourite salad: another Ottolenghi recipe called Sort-of-Waldorf Salad. And for dessert I made Apple Cake with Maple Sauce, a recipe from the Butter Bakery in Dunbar.

Today I’ll serve the first meal I’ve hosted here and I’m really stoked. It’s the first full meal I’ve made since my breakdown I think and we’ll be christening my new dining room table with it.

Tomorrow, Paula arrives for the weekend and on Monday Allyson and Peter arrive for a few days — and friends thought I’d be lonely here!

Introducing Sheba

Sheba is from a therapy puppy breeder.
She's been selected for temperment.

Leon meowed this morning. It’s the first vocalization in three days. He’s weak but he purred when we cuddled so I will have some more time with my beloved soul mate — perhaps not much, but some.

Tuesday morning was very teary but I did get him to eat and some signs of life returned. I carried him outside into the sunshine and he had a little walkabout. Then it was back to lie by the fire but the life signs stopped my endless tears.

I met my new doctor yesterday. He’s young and warm! And I got my discount travel forms and reserved my flights for my next two appointments with Dr. Shoja.

After my appointment, I went to the grocery store and found that it had fennel! I was thrilled so I’m making Chickpea, Tomato and Bread Soup from a recipe by Yotem Ottolenghi. I’ll get some bread from the Slow Rise Bakery and make a salad from another Ottolengi recipe and for dessert I’ll make something from Butter — my favourite dessert recipe book. It’s all for Caryn, Patsy and Bruce who come on Thursday.

I ordered a chaise longue online yeseterday, too. I want to have it by the fire for watching movies and television. It’ll be ideal for the long nights of winter.

And I called “Darrell.” He sounds nice on the phone. He’s coming this morning to talk to me about building a fence for my backyard. And if he works well and we get along, he may be the person to renovate my studio and build the planters I want.

It was a glorious sunny and warm day yesterday so I put together my new deck chairs and set them up under my patio heater in case my guests want to eat outside.

Late in the day Jay wrote to say that he and his sister are coming over on Sunday to dismantle the pool table. I’m thrilled because it means renovating my studio can get underway. Building the fence, renovating my studio and doing some planting (inside the fence) will make this place feel like mine.

I ended the afternoon in the hot tub. And now I have nice comfy chairs to sit in afterwards to cool down.

The last highlight of the day was hearing from Valhalla Kennels. They’ve got a puppy for me. I didn’t even think about it; it came in a heat beat. Her name will be Sheba.

Photographed near Roatan, an island off the coast of Honduras.

While bigots fight our planet dies of apathy.