Sunday, July 19, 2015

Is that all there is?

I make plans/dates to do things, I do them and they are not as satisfying as I had hoped they would be. And I have been feeling “off” people (not friends), so I did some reading about social isolation. Here is a summary of what I have read:  
1.     It is fine to be socially selective.
2.     It is understandable in in people with a poor family background but it is not healthy as a response to past bad experiences.
3.     A desire for isolation can increase due to unsought isolation.
4.     Expressing a “dislike for people” is often an attempt to feel better about feeling isolated.
5.     If long-time fulfilling relationships start to feel less rewarding, one may be depressed.

Solitude comes in many forms. Someone who spends the day alone is said to be solitary but if they are busy and listening to media or interacting with others periodically on the phone or clerks in stores, are they truly experiencing solitude?

At the other extreme are those who mediate. Their objective is to “empty their mind.” They want to be free of “the inner dialogue.” I figure I spend five-to-seven hours alone every day without any conversation and almost constantly involved with the inner dialogue. I walk.

I walk conscious of my environment and love that. Being hyper aware of nature is what gives me the feeling I so love of being in church. But I also walk “blind;” I walk so involved with my thoughts that I only “see” imagery linked to my thoughts—like my writing projects, my past or my desires.

I have chosen not to undertake another project so I have been focused on my desires. Hence the life reevaluation with which I am currently engaged. And it’s okay; I am “living the moment” more successfully than ever before—for that is all there is.

 •

I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I'll never forget the look on my father's face as he gathered me up
In his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to a fire?"

Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends
Then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

And when I was 12 years old, my daddy took me to a circus.
"The Greatest Show On Earth."
There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears.
And a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads.
And as I sat there watching, I had the feeling that something was missing.
I don't know what, but when it was over,
I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to a circus?"

Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends
Then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

And then I fell in love, with the most wonderful boy in the world.
We would take long walks by the river
Or just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes.
We were so very much in love.
Then one day, he went away and I thought I'd die.
But I didn't.
And when I didn't I said to myself,
"Is that all there is to love?"

Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep-

I know what you must be saying to yourselves.
"If that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?"
Oh, no, not me.
I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment.
'Cause I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
That when that final moment comes and I'm breathing my last breath
I'll be saying to myself-

Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends
Then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

Writer(s): Mike Stoller, Jerry Leiber
Copyright: Sony/ATV Tunes LLC, Jerry Leiber Music, Mike Stoller Music 

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