Saturday, August 12, 2017


Well I got through another Friday without a rejection from the Arts Club. If I don’t hear next week I plan to write to ask.
On the weather front, I am happy to day that the smoke is gone. Today we have actual high wispy clouds; desperately needed rain showers are predicted for tomorrow. And today I have no one to see, not even Bruce. Days like this, and more of them, are vital to my wellbeing. If I can learn to decline invitations I can stay here.
The real reason I keep looking at real estate like pornography (see the previous post) is to get away from people — even my beloved friends. I love my friends but the truth is that socializing is extremely hard on my nervous system.
Last night I could not stop daydreaming about the place for sale in Qualicum Beach. I just love the unpaved driveway and the wildness of the yard. And it’s licensed for animals and has an old orchard in the back. What a paradise it would be for Leon and me.
When I see my true trusted friends, we always have lovely conversations. It takes me about fifteen minutes to be able to speak well, but once I do I am fine. All the rest of the time I cannot speak — never. It’s a 100% stutter. I am mute. The only way life is normal is when I am at home and my friends come here. That’s why my therapy’s been extended.
If, after another year, nothing has changed I will move. I feel pretty clear about that after lots of careful thought.

I was not super keen to see the Taj. Of course I planned
to go but I had no idea that when I stood in this doorway
and saw the building for the first time, I wept.

Britain issued some Shakespeare stamps.

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