Fackham Hall

This looks like a fun film. I love farces when they are well done, and this

 trailer makes me anxious to see this one.

Thursday dawned clear and cool. I was in no hurry to walk Her Highness. I fed the brood and lit the fire after taking off my Apple watch. When we did finally walk, we went into the village afterwards because I had to, yet again, go to the pharmacy. I have too many prescriptions, so I am constantly visiting the pharmacy, especially when several require renewing at the same time. 

I prepared myself for a slow day of puttering and reading. I’ve no desire to be outside on these cool humid days. However, when the sun comes out, I go out. That Japanese Maple that was in the photo I posted on this blog yesterday, is just as magnificent under a cloudy sky. It is an impossibly gorgeous colour.

The clinic called me in. My blood tests indicated that my cholesterol was too high, and so I have yet another prescription. I have eleven of them now. Eleven! Every day! But hey, they work. 

It was a lovely day. Mid-afternoon, the skies cleared completely and our visit to Elder Cedar late in the day was lovely. There was no one there; we had the entire park to ourselves. And when we came home, just like yesterday, Sheba rested, and I got into the spa. I’m chuffed to still be so comfortably using the spa and it’s almost November!

Sadly, Travels With My Aunt came to an end—a good end, but I’m sad that I finished it. I really enjoyed it, so now I know that I can enjoy reading still. It just means finding the right book. I’m going to try a David Sedaris novel next.

Late in the day, I happened on a video posted by a charming young gay man whose parents died, and so he took his inheritance and bought a rather derelict and remote Scottish cottage. He had me hooked because he took on a major construction challenge and a lifetime of hard work, all with no experience whatsoever with tools. And he rocks all he undertakes. I was charmed and so I have yet another subscription of people renovating remote cottages. More and more, my chief form of entertainment is YouTube videos.

And now it’s Friday again. The week passed very quickly. I couldn’t light the fire quickly enough this morning. The house was cold because I now have the habit of letting the fire die in the afternoon because the house is warm and I have my electric blanket with which to keep warm when I watch television in the evening.

I shall begin my David Sedaris novel and hope for the best. It’s predicted to be wet today and all I see is more rain ahead. Soon, I reckon, I’ll be draining the hot tub because the rains may be here for months.

Here are some photos of some of the millions of mushrooms growing along the pathways of Elder Cedar:

I love these teeny weeny ones. 

Cocodrilo - Cortometraje

This is a moving and brilliant short film. I loved it!

Click "YouTube" to be able to get the subtitles in English.

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As we set out to walk, the sky had cleared, and glorious sunshine lit up the forest, and Sheba and I enjoyed a particularly lovely morning sojourn trail walking with our friends. together. It’s beyond wonderful to see Sheba trotting ahead, walking like a pro. I am so attached to her; she’s my perfect partner when we are away from the house.

When we got home, I went down rabbit holes on the Internet while Sheba recovered from out long walk. One of the things I found in there, was that season two of The English Teacher is up on the Disney network (which is free with Rogers/Shaw). I loved the first season, even though I’m not much of a fan of vide series. However, season one got a 98% score on Rotton Tomatoes, but season two has scored 100%, so I watched a couple of episodes last night. Check it out!

Every day I wear a t-shirt and hoodie. Every single day, I assure you, and I’ve been doing it for years. I cannot bear to wear a button-up shirt, and the hoodie keeps my bald head warm in Winter and protects it in Summer from the sun. I used to wear hats, and I’d love them all the time, so hoodies it’s been for years and years.

Yesterday I washed the ones I have and wear all the time, and I washed them in hot water. I never use hot water normally, but my hoodies are showing their age and one of the problems is stains. Hence the hot water washing. I wanted to see how they looked after the wash before I bought replacements. ………..

No photoshop here! This is the Japanese Maple in my courtyard. The brightness of the leaves is due to sunlight at sunrise magnificently illuminating the tree.

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The sun, now low in the sky, came blazing into the kitchen in the afternoon. My goodness it was bright and beautiful, but I wanted to wait for our afternoon walk until late in the day, so I got busy clearing the path between my woodshed and the back door of all the Fir needles that I track into the house, and I cleared the front path. 

I found a wee bird on the walkway lying on its side. I thought it was dead from the way it was lying on the pavement, but when I picked it up, it fluttered and so I immediately put it down, but on its feet. Its head was up, and it was looking good once on its feet, so I left it there and kept watch over it until it had disappeared. I also just happened to be at my desk when I hawk swooped in and caught a Downey Woodpecker, one of my favourite species of birds that feed at my feeders. That’s the downside of having the feeders, but the birds bring me immense joy.

When my laundry was done, I committed myself to a change in practice. Henceforth, I’ll be washing in hot water and rinsing in cold because the wash in hot water got rid of stains that have been in three of my hoodies forever. This housekeeper never stops learning.

When it came time to walk Her Highness, we went to Elder Cedar. It was truly grand to walk in dappled sunlight and in relatively warm air (14°). And Sheba looks so great in sunlight. She positively glows because her hair is longer than it’s been in years and the ends catch the sunlight. She is gorgeous.

I found out the hard way to take my Apple watch off when I chop wood. I accidently set off my fall alarm, and I couldn’t figure out how to stop it because I was so freaked out. But now I know to take it off and what to do when I cause a false alarm. Phew.

When we got home from Elder Cedar, it was spa time for me while Sheba rested. The day was done except the best part was yet to come—fire, dinner, chaise, and The English Teacher. I love my life here. I am blissfully happy when I have nothing on my agenda all day. And I don’t have any more guests until Christmas.

Here are shots from Elder Cedar.

A perfect, beautiful Cedar trunk.

Fir trunks are rough.

Fungus.

A Great Session with Dr. S.

I love it when it rains hard (but we have no need to go outside). I love the sound of the rain falling on the metal roof. It makes me appreciate the warmth and coziness of the house. There were several bouts of heavy rain yesterday, and it remained dark and ominous looking outside. I loved reading on my chaise and having my new electric blanket keeping me toasty warm (and using less wood for the fire).

My session with Dr. Shoja was a doozy. I read her a part of a post on my blog:

I thought about if I should be quitting Dr. S. because she asked me if I wanted to stop seeing her last month. She asked me because I was so happy about a having a sense of cohesion in my understanding of my life story. 

This is all about one word: Neglect. Just typing that makes me cry. I keep saying to myself: I do not want to be a neglected child. I kept thinking about that for a long time, and then one day I said to myself: But you knew that. All your stories are about their absence. So, I wondered: Why does it hurt so much to hear Dr. S. use the word, ‘neglect?’

It's a good question. 

Is it because it feels unfair that Connie and Don—Clyde was busy—get a second kick at the can. Is it because it’s punishment of the innocent?

Is it because hearing Dr. S. say that word out loud makes it all real?

It just keeps coming back to the same old thing: I don’t want to be a neglected child. I really, really, really don’t want to be it.

When I wrote this post, I heard from Beth as I so often do, and she asked me why I was so invested in ‘not wanting to be that guy’ (who was neglected). I told her I didn’t know and that it surprised me too, to be so vehement in my desire not to be the abandoned guy, the neglected guy.

So, I asked Dr. S. why, and when I asked her, I ended saying, “I just really, really don’t want to be that guy. That’s what I keep wanting to say.”

And she replied, “You don’t want to be that guy because …?” And I said I didn’t know, but I also said, “It’s all so Dickensian, so Oliver Twist, so David Copperfield.”

And then she said that I don’t want to feel the pain that I buried so very, very long ago, but that lately she’s been happy to notice that I’m talking about neglect more and feeling that long-buried pain when we talk. She added that although it’s hard for me, she is proud of the progress she is seeing in me. She also confirmed that the mania/euphoria I felt from prednisone is well understood.

I’m always exhausted after a session with her, so when we were done, I fed the brood and then I planned to rest but the clinic called and I had to go into the village to take a note to the clinic, and then I went to the pharmacy to pick up three prescriptions, and order another. Sheesh! Once, back home, I dropped everything off and then went trail walking with Sheba in gentle rain.

At dinner time, there was a torrential downpour making the house noisy with the sound of the rain on the roof. I fed the pets, made my dinner, got comfy on the chaise and turned on the TV. 

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When I got up at 5:30, I went out to get wood for the fire and I was very pleasantly surprised to see the sky full of stars, and in a matter of a few seconds, I saw a shooting star and then a satellite slowly crossing over me. But when it came time to go to meet our friends to trail walk together, the sky had clouded over, the wind was up, and it felt like we’d soon be getting rain.

I am looking forward to a lovely slow day with books and pets and no appointments at all. In fact, no appointments at all until Tuesday when I get another Covid shot.

Toast

It was wonderful to have the sun back! The sunshine gives me a wonderful boost in spirits and so yesterday morning I was very active doing chores that I’d ignored all day Sunday (My Day). I looked forward to the week because I see Dr. S. tomorrow, but that is my only scheduled thing for the entire week. Plus, two more days of good weather are coming on Wednesday and Thursday. My clover is going to get a good growing boost.

Our little group of dog walkers took the Ricki Ave. trail at my suggestion. I like that trail (even though it begins with a long uphill stretch) because on a sunny day we walk in sunshine. All the other trails are so heavily treed, we walk in shade all the time. And when we were done, Her Highness and I went into the village before coming home.

I read for a while before we all had lunch, and then I took a nap before heading out for our afternoon walk on the Elder Cedar trail. It was clouding over and so I wanted to walk before any rain fell. I loved our walks yesterday because Sheba was her old self in every way, trotting here and there, smelling everything, and stopping often to turn around and make sure I was still with her. 

When we came home, I really enjoyed a good long soak in the spa, and when I came in, I decided to weigh myself. I did so with trepidation. I was afraid I’d gained some of the weight I’d lost due to the heavy eating at Thanksgiving and at all the meals I recently made for friends. But I was very pleasantly surprised to find that not only had I not gained any weight, I’d lost two more pounds.

I reckon I’ve changed my eating habits permanently. I never buy sweets, and I never eat any except when I go out for dinner or host friends here. Even then, I often don’t have dessert. I believe I’ve broken my sugar habit, plus I remain committed to mindful eating. I love wearing so many of my clothes that have hung unused for a few years.

Last night I watched Toast for the second time. I saw it on YouTube and so I watched it because I loved it the first time I saw it. It’s a harsh story derived from the award-winning memoire of Nigel Slater, who became a celebrated chef, but who suffered dreadfully through his childhood. I didn’t realize how close it was to my story until this second viewing: sick mother, angry father, wanting nothing to do with his father’s second partner. Another thing I didn’t notice the first time I saw the film is that Nigel Slater is in the final scene.

I was up early this morning, and walking Sheba. It was a very dark morning, and I knew rain was coming, so we walked in the dim light of dawn, and I loved it. I had no idea how much I loved nature until I moved here, and I had no idea when I got Sheba what a smart thing it was to get her. If I didn’t have her as my friend, I wouldn’t be walking nearly so much on the trails.

It's 10:00 as I post this. I Zoom with Dr. S. at 11:00.