I’m finding myself not wanting to make eye contact with people. When Steve calls, I glance at him when he is speaking, but just for a moment. And when I encounter people that I know, I notice I try not to look them in the eye. This is not me. I think it has something to do with how I’m feeling about Jay.
At 11:00, the sun came out, not to stay, but it lifted my spirits a little, and I ventured outside to look at the clover field and to enjoy all I saw there. It is a field of lovely green, but the green comes from the tiniest weeniest little leaves that I have ever seen. I’m grateful for every bit of sunshine that the clover gets.
I was glad when 11:30 came. I had some food after feeding the brood, and then I had a long nap. I wrote to Kelly to offer to help her when it comes time to start sorting Jay’s stuff. She said she’d appreciate the help. And I wrote to Robin, the poor soul who found Jay in the driveway.
Mid-afternoon, we walked the Elder Cedar trail. It was a quiet and still afternoon, and warm when we were in the sunshine. Then I came home to enjoy a spa before dinner. My mind is still obsessed with thoughts of Jay.
I barely slept last night. Sigh. I tossed and turned as the night passed supremely slowly. I am, however, well rested. This morning has dawned quite bright. The moonshine beautifully illuminates the garden beds, and it’s so easy to fetch wood when moonlight makes everything so easy to see. We’ll walk this morning with our friends, and the rest of the day will roll out as it will. It seems unlikely to be the wet, wet day that was predicted.
No comments:
Post a Comment