Night Fears

Man, it was cold yesterday morning. I lit the fire right away when I got up, and then I kept myself busy doing domestic chores until it was time to go to meet our friends for a dog walk. I wore my down coat and gloves to keep warm. I was very happy to be walking, it was a gorgeous day, but I was also very happy to get home and settled, cozy and warm by the fire and with a book.

And speaking of books, Random House is sending me a replacement version of The Piano Tuner. I had to provide a lot of data, including my receipt, to get the replacement copy. I’m very happy to be able to finish the story I was enjoying so much.

I was tempted to split more wood but didn’t. I just read and chilled all day (and I had a nap) until I took Sheba to the park to chase the ball—her very favourite thing to do. I did accomplish one thing though; I got my will done online. Now, I just have to figure out what I can do about my pets, should I pre-decease them.

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I was quite thrown by the second coming, but everything feels normal again. My speech and seizures are different, but the fear of doing damage to my friendships is totally gone. I’d say that my days of monologues are over.

Prior to the second coming, my speech defect was largely blocks. A block is a stop. So I would say a few words and then stop, and then a few more, another stop, etcetera. Now, I have very dramatic repetitions. They are very annoying. They are loud, whereas blocks are silent. Yesterday morning, for example, when I was walking with my friends, I went to say the word, ‘yesterday,’ and I say yuh, yuh, yuh, etcetera for about 20 times.

It feels like words are stored in boxes in my brain, and when I want to say a word, sometimes all the words in the box pour out. It’s very annoying. Sometimes I’ll repeat the first phoneme of the word about 10 times, and then the word about 6 times. Also, annoying. And loud. Plus, there’s a lot of head jerking, arm flaring and grimacing. And worst of all, is after being silent for a while, I can go to speak and instead, I have a seizure—and often, it’s a doozy.

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I see my nurse practitioner on Tuesday, so I wrote a letter about what I wanted to give her. I prefer communicating with her in writing because I can think hard about exactly what I want to say. I have an epistle for Dr. Shoja completed in draft form. I don’t see her until early November.

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The one great thing about the cold weather is how great it is to come back inside to the welcoming heat of the firebox. I have wool blankets out everywhere, and I am never without one (except when company comes).

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I ordered some aged Gouda cheese online. I picked a really delicious sounding variety and everything looked fine, so I hit “buy.” And my $25 cheese became a $135 order due to express shipping charges. I wasn’t given any options on delivery. I’ve learned my lesson. Next time, in Vancouver, where I get my saucisson sec. 

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Recently, a local family suffered a home invasion. A man broke into their home while they were home and set the home on fire. The police arrested the man who was suffering drug induced psychosis. That story was likely the cause of my panic last night, just before 10:00 pm when a car drove down the street and stopped just out front of my house and just sat there. After maybe 3 minutes, it drove off, only to come back and sit out there again. Then it moved forward and stopped again. Each stop was a minute or two. It was freaking me out. And then it came again and drove into my driveway. 

It turned out to be my neighbour, Shelly. She was concerned about a dog in distress that I couldn’t hear because the TV was on. She stayed for a short visit and then she left, and I went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep because I could hear the poor dog that Shelly had heard. But there was nothing I could do. I didn’t go in search of it because I couldn’t bring it home or the cats would freak. Thankfully, it stopped. Someone must have come to its aid.