Grayson Returns

The days fly by when I spend the entire day outdoors doing chores (except for lunch time). Yesterday, I was watering at 6:30 am. I loved being out in the fresh cool air instead of watering in the heat of the day. I did the entire backyard in the early morning, and then I had a spa before taking Her Highness walking.

When we got home, I got busy with the netting around the blueberries. As with repairing the fences, it was slow going but I’m underway and it feels good. I worry about how much there is to do, though. I’m desperate to clean the surface of all the beds, and to weed in the Spanish Moss that lines the pathway.

I heard from Grayson, and he’s coming Sunday and Monday. I’m keen to have the big rounds of wood split into burnable sized pieces and stacked to dry over the Summer. This will likely be the end of Grayson working for me until 2007, when I next will need wood.

My session with Dr. Shoja was a particularly practical one. I got to talk to her about Frani and my anger, and how it’s affected my relationships with other people. As I’ve mentioned, I stopped entertaining here. It’s been almost a year. It’s very clear to me that I want to be alone as much as I possibly can, and Dr. Shoja understands. She is supportive and does not have any concerns about me becoming isolated. 

I can, and I will continue to get together with close friends. I truly and passionately enjoy their company; I hope they never stop visiting! However, every visitor physically affects me. My speech will fade late in the day, I often have a seizure or more than one, and when my guest(s) leave, I can do nothing the next day because I am totally exhausted. I hate how I am because it’s like being allergic to my friends.

But you know what? A billion years ago, back when cars had big fins on them, I had allergy tests. Mr. Jackson took me in his super fancy convertible. He was our next-door neighbour, and I absolutely adored him. I’ve never forgotten him. Anyway, when the technician came in, she had a large tray of whatever it is that’s in all the dishes.

She explained how things were going to work, and while she was cleaning by back with alcohol, she asked me what my favourite foods were? I told her and then I asked her why she asked me that question. I was thinking: How could someone be allergic to something they loved and ate often? And she said the answer to that question often leads to identifying problem foods.

I found that really interesting. It’s also counter intuitive. It made me wonder if I understood what allergies were. But then I thought, wait a minute, women are often falling in love with men who abuse them. And then there’s drugs. We humans seem often to love that which causes us harm. The experience changed the way I thought about food.

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I can’t keep up with things. I can’t keep the house clean, do the laundry as often as I want to do, walk H.H. and to the shopping and all the gardening that needs to be done. So, I’ve been thinking, I’ll hire a gardener. But I’ve been kind of dreading that.  Besides, no one sees this place but me plus the odd visitor and Steve for a week. So, I rationalize, hoping that once I get on Tezspire, I will have more strength.

Today, we’ll walk with our friends and then do more work on netting the blueberries. I add colored ribbons to help the birds not get caught in the net. I stopped putting seed out months ago when I saw how many blossoms the berries were getting. And I hope to do some weeding of the Spanish Moss.

Beloved Brugmansia.

Feet of a Cassowary.