Diagnosis!! (#2)

I cried. Of course I did. Grace was incredible in every way. I may be going back to her, but she will not treat me until I have a neurological “work up” (whatever that is). Whatever it is, it is what I will be asking of Dr. Morrison when I go back to him in June.

Grace suspects that my voice problem is neurological. Here is how I understand the meaning of my assessment:

Speech is a complicated process. The muscles of the larynx, the diaphragm, the tongue, mouth and various centres of the brain work in harmony to create speech. My voice is the result of a bunch of electronic messages moving down a “neural pathway” to the various centres, muscles, etc. and the pathway for speech for me is damaged.

This is Grace’s assessment that needs to be proven in tests with machines she cannot access. A neurologist with a specialty in speech must do that.

Reading and speaking with my fake accent produces speech via a different neural pathway. She is familiar with both forms of compensatory behaviors.

She believes the episodic nature and long tenure of my problem suggests neurological damage. She further feels these same aspects of my problem rule out a psychological reason for my problem.

I cried with relief. To be believed and understood felt as I imagine getting out of jail might feel. It’s been 25+ years! To have an answer I believe in, to the question: “What’s wrong with your voice?” feels redeeming — that’s how I feel: redeemed.

Why did this happen? Could be the surgery. Could me a mini stroke. 

I’m not saying this is the answer and neither is Grace, but it makes far, far more sense to me than acid reflux. 

That's all I know so far.