I hear this new
sound in my voice as I say goodbye to Bruce. I’ve heard it a few times when I
am talking to truly dear friends, to trustable people. It’s a good change.
As I finish
saying goodbye to him, I think to myself, “I think he heard in my voice how
much he means to me.” And I realized, I felt heard and more than that….
I realized that
what I was hearing in my voice was love. I’m communicating love. I’ve never been able
to do that before; I’ve always faked it. I didn’t know I was faking it until
now.
This may sound
like so much gobbledygook to you, but for me this firestorm of understanding
is at once overwhelming and thrilling.
I will never again live in a world without
love. I can feel it and I can communicate it. Dr. Shoja says that is how we “build
the bridge” to control the amygdala where the flight/fight response is based, so this must be good.
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