Friday was a calmer day than the rest of the week. For one thing, I’m back on my HIV medication again. Also, I walked with my friends in the morning, and the fragrance of the forest was like incense. I felt so, so good in the forest.
When we came home, I did a long HIV survey for St. Paul’s Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS. It provided me with the opportunity to vent about the pharmacy screwing up my pill delivery. That felt very, very good. Just before I finished, Colleen arrived, and I gave her a long list of things to do, explaining that the list was to serve for a few visits, not just yesterday. I’ve come to really like and value her, and it helps me get to ‘normal’ to have help getting all the things done that I see every day needing doing.
And then I watered. It wasn’t onerous because I’d had a day off, but it certainly tires me out even though it’s just standing in place. I did the backyard beds first, and it was fun because Colleen and I could talk as we worked. She is just awesome, and a perfect fit for me.
Nothing horrible happened all day yesterday. I need a string of such days to get back to how I normally function. Thursday was so bad, I had diarrhea. I was so bloody hot and miserable that I was constantly sweating and uncomfortable, all due to stress. It wasn’t that warm on Thursday.
Colleen left as I finished the backyard beds, and I had a rest. Then I took Sheba for a short walk and came home to water the front beds. It takes half the time to water the front as it takes to water the back. And when I was done, Sheba and I went for a short walk. When we got back to the car, I lay down in the back where I have a very convenient bed. I had a dead battery.
Then we came home, and oh how wonderful it felt to be in the cool air and finished with my duties for the day. Hallelujah. All I could think of was dinner, couch and a movie.
Today was my third day of fasting all day and only eating dinner. It’s a much easier way to lose weight than what I’ve done in the past. I don’t even think about food. I want to lose weight because 1. I’m too fat for most of my clothes, 2. Losing weight will make both my foot and my breathing easier, and this is the most important reason for taking action, and finally, 3. I feel better when I’m not fat. Since my breakdown, I’ve been indulgent about sweets and large helpings. I want to get my weight down and then get back to sweets and meals in thoughtful portions.
On my walkabout last evening, I was thrilled by Colleen’s work. She does a very good job of everything I ask her to do. It excites me to think of what’s possible for my garden with her working for me this season and next. I’m really excited about what we can accomplish.
I write her a list of things to do. After each visit, I take off the list the things she’s done, and I add things that I see in my walkabouts. She appreciates my methodology. And I’ve messaged Ralf on Facebook about coming to do yard work for me. I want him to rake over the yard and deposit the detritus in the organic dump.
Paula is coming here Sept. 9 and 10. We are extremely compatible and yet, I plan to take a Lorazepam every day she’s here. If the visit passes without me having a seizure, that will be a first, and I’ll use Lorazepam every time someone comes to visit. And I’m going to ask Dr. Shoja about doubling the dose when Steve is here.
Thank God for today. Thank God for no issues or emergencies. Thank God for being able to take frequent rests during the day.
When I was at the clinic, there was a fellow in the waiting room with me. He looked to be in his late thirties. He looked scruffy. He had long dark hair, a beard, and he wore loose dark baggy pants, a t-shirt and heavy high work boots that looked 50 years old, and they were not done up.
After about ten minutes, his partner and their two children arrived. His partner was beaming, and it allowed me to notice that she had only 1 tooth in her upper jaw. She was wearing a tight top and black leotards, and she was a bit of a heavy girl. I, a non-judgmental liar, thought Hillbilly Junction.
As time passed, I kept watching because I was facing them. And what I saw moved me deeply. There was such evident affection between the parents, and the youngest child went directly to her dad when she arrived. She sat down and took his hand. I thought I was seeing a family dynamic that they could be very proud of.
I thought about that today when Colleen told me that some of the women at her Women’s Fair event in Calgary, left because Colleen welcomes trans women. And I just hate hearing how people can judge others so harshly without ever having a discussion with a member of the group they don’t like. I hated Rita, and I had a long list of reasons why, but when Don (my ‘father’) died, I agreed to look after Rita for him, and I did so for eight years. I fairly quickly came to love her, and when she died, I sat for hours with her. I did not want to leave her. I was very proud to find myself capable of changing my mind.
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When I woke this morning, I was thrilled to see an overcast sky. Sadly, it’s likely to burn off and watering will be required again today. Dave comes to day to synch my watch with my phone and to also explain how to use it a bit, but I also have Bruce and Steve for that. And I get to take the alarm off from around my neck and to return it and its corresponding speaker to Lifeline.
But the big event of the day may be going to a local farm to visit their animals. And tomorrow will be a lovely quiet solitary My Day.
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