I probably haven’t had a migraine in a year, but I had one Wednesday. I’ve been in a rough neurological patch for a while, and it seems that it ain’t over yet. But I feel recovery can begin now that my trip to Nanaimo is done. There is absolutely nothing on my calendar except a Zoom session later this morning (Thursday) with my UK group. The remainder of the day, and all day of every day for the foreseeable future will be gentle and slow. Woo hoo.
It's back to watering as well. There’s naught but sunshine in the forecast and beginning on the weekend it’s predicted to get hot, hot, hot; sadly, and the heat is supposed to last for a while. Sigh.
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Steve and I have traditions now. We always go to Mahle House in Cedar, and we always have a party here with Eoin, François and Jay. And I always have the worst seizures; they have been truly horrid, especially this past year when I was so stressed I became completely paralyzed for half an hour. It was my third paralytic stress response.
Something must change, and that may affect our traditions. I’m going to talk with Steve about making changes to increase the possibility that I could enjoy his visit without a Richter 9 seizure. I love him and I always will, but I don’t really like him anymore. He’s too intense, too extreme.
It’s not going to be an easy conversation. I hope we can find a model for his visit that will work for me. Alternatively, there is Ativan. I plan to talk to Dr. Shoja about using the drug. I’m more focused on altering our activities. He needs constant stimulation, and I am averse to it. But I genuinely want him to come to visit.
I think what I’ll do is email him something like what I’ve just written above, and I’ll suggest we have a talk. If I mail my plan to him, he can think about it before we talk.
I nearly always have a seizure when people come to stay, but they are my “normal” type of mild seizure. I can sustain them, but not the killer seizures that come with Steve. When he is here, it is like we are re-living the worst days of our relationship.
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I’m very disappointed that Blogger is not letting me post my photos. It may not be Blogger’s fault. It could be my computer. There’s a guy on the island who does computer consulting. I may contact him for guidance. I am considering a big spend, but whatever I do is tax-deductible because the computer is my telephone because I need to see the person I am talking to for my brain to let me speak.
This computer that I am using does not ring when friends phone me, and this machine no longer makes sounds when an email comes it. These sounds are vital to me because email and video calling are my primary means of communicating. I only have the landline because of my alarm and for emergencies.
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Both the conversation with Steve and the consideration of new and more Apple devices are part of managing my mental illness. Having this condition is like having a part-time job. Communication is complex!
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I have an appointment with Dave, a local computer technician. He is coming today to see if he can fix the sound function on my iMac. I want people to be able to call me on Facetime, but they currently cannot because there is no ring tone for me to hear. It’s the same with email. I once heard a sound whenever I received an email, but no more.
I’m also likely going to get an iPhone and a service provider for it because Dave says that calls can be made and received via Wifi or Bluetooth or something. And then I can get an Apple watch and lose the alarm that goes around my neck and always has false alarms.
If he can’t fix the computer, I will probably get a new computer, and everything must be linked and linked to the television. I can’t handle it, so I will pay Dave to make it all work, and he will teach me how to use the phone.
I’m fucking dreading this change. Dave seems like a nice guy. I hire people to do a lot of things now. Sigh. Old dog, you know.
I try to think positive. When I understand it all, when all the learning is done, I can have the phone with me in the living room. I won’t have to run to my land line. And I’ll likely change my alarm. Yikes! It’s all so scary. I was so proud to not be on Facebook and to not have a cell phone, and now…..
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Yesterday was a truly lovely day. It was bright and sunny, but there were some cloudy periods, and it was a nice comfortable temperature. The predicted hot spell is no longer on the Environment Canada website, instead temperatures will remain in the comfortable mid-twenties. All it means for me is that I don’t have to water as much. The evaporation rate is low.
Our walks were the highlight of the day because of the mild temperatures and the quiet of our island. We walked in silence and memories of childhood summers were like flashbacks in my mind. I felt blissful all day because I felt free of pressure and blessed to live amongst the trees and trails of my beloved island.
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It's another stunning day. I’ll water and putter, but most of all, I’m looking forward to my meeting with Dave at noon.
By switching from Safari to Chrome, I was able to upload photos!!!
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