Yesterday was International Stuttering Day and STAMMA, the UK stuttering group I work with and for, is organizing a protest at several Starbucks locations in London. Why Starbucks? Two reasons: One is that a barista humiliated a person who stutters (PWS) recently, in an incident that was well reported in the media, but the real problem with Starbucks is their policy of asking for your name in order to call you when your order is ready.
One strange thing about stuttering is that for all of us with speech disorders, saying our name is one of the most difficult things we must frequently do. Recently, when I started with the ASL group, I got very anxious at the beginning of our first meeting because I knew they would begin with everyone introducing themselves.
I wished I could’ve been there in one of the Starbucks. I’d love to have joined in the protest and to have been part of a STAMMA activity, plus I’d enjoy meeting several PWSs. However, I had my ASL class yesterday and so I told them what day it was as my one little act of advocacy.
At 11:00 am yesterday, the rain stopped, and the sky brightened. It didn’t clear, but at least it felt like the rain would hold off for a while. I was glad to go to my ASL class without having to deal with heavy rain. And what a fun class we had! We were learning the signs for food and then we chatted (in sign) about our favourite foods and the foods we don’t like.
Sandi, our teacher, asked me what vegetable I don’t like, but we hadn’t learned the sign for squash, so I just smashed my hands together and Sandi burst out laughing because she knew what I meant, and she thought it was hilarious. (There is no sign for squash; it is finger spelt). It felt marvelous to be able to be funny in ASL, and to make a deaf person (Sandi) laugh with a sign.
When I came home, I got a wonderful welcome from Her Highness, so we went out for a long walk, and we walked a new trail. Sadly, it had a hill, so coming back was brutal. I was heaving all the way home in the car, so as soon as we got home, I got into the spa and felt like a million bucks.
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I watched a shit movie last night on Netflix (Lonely Planet) fully aware that it was a romance movie. I watched it because it is set in Morocco, and I love watching movies in bright sunny locations during the cool and cold months.
In the movie, Laura Dern plays a writer. I hate it when a character is a writer. It’s always a novel and the plot is always predictable—unexpected grand success—but what bugs me most is how the process is portrayed. The crumpled papers, the sudden insights, the advances; it’s all so despicably fake, and this movie is full of it. But it’s set in Morocco, and Liam Hemsworth is very nice to look at.
There came a scene where our protagonists are opening up honestly for the first time, and Laura Dern’s character (Catherine) has just told Liam Hemsworth’s character (Owen), that she and her partner had broken up. Of course! And he asks her how long they were together. She answers, “Fourteen years.”
While my mind focused on Owen’s consideration of fourteen years as a long time, and on the fact that Steve and I were together for fourteen years, I could feel emotion rising inside me like unstoppable vomit, and I began to cry. I cried for a few minutes, and it really surprised me. Hence this share.
I wasn’t crying for Steve. I did love him, and I still do. We are brothers now. And I doubt I was crying for myself, because the relationship had soured for both of us. Plus, I’m more grateful for that relationship than I am for almost anything else in my life. I’ll love Steve forever for the gift of those years. I experienced being loved. It was a first. I believe I was crying because I am alone, and I doubt Liam Hemsworth will be calling.
Catheryn said to Owen, “I could fall for a kid like you.” And I quit watching. It was that bad. It was Hallmarky.
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My friend Beth kept telling this obsessively self-reliant person, to get help. Well Beth (she is a reader of the blog) I’m fully loaded. Henri is looking after my gardens now, and Pete and François are always happy to help me with repairs that are beyond me.
I’ve been pondering moving. My nurse practitioner thought I would be smart to live closer to a hospital. I started looking at places online, but whenever I do, in the end I feel nowhere is better than here. Last Summer, the explosion of growth in my garden is likely to be repeated next year due to the ongoing fertilizing we do. I want to watch this garden grow for as long as I can. It’s thrilling to see it age. I’ve never created a garden before, and mine is a quarter acre.
Also, right after I moved in, I got the pets, and I had the cattery built off the dining room. The cats love it. They are out there all Summer, and that’s where their litter box is. It’s not in the house. It’s a valuable asset of Pinecone Park.
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| Oh, how I wish! |
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| Red Sprite lightning. |
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