Reflections on Golden Globes

There was lots to love watching the Globes this year:

• When I absolutely hate a work of art, I get a kind of high hating it. I love to riff on why I hate it and although it is not nearly as satisfying as loving an artwork, I find the pleasure of hating something mysteriously pleasant. Consequently, the highlight of my evening was listening to Bono win for best song. U2 has to be the most pretentious band ever formed and Bono is the most pretentious singer ever. It was thrilling to taste the bile in my mouth while he spoke. Oh for the old days when you could ship undesirables to Australia and forget about them.
• "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, lets give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."  
• I had to leave the room during Jacqueline Bisset's acceptance speech. That was not pleasant like the bile fest of  Bono.
• When Reese Witherspoon came on, all I could think of was her comment to the cop arresting her: "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" It only takes six words to lose respect.  
• Dianne Keaton, looking spectacular as always, revealed how little of her Annie Hall role was acting by being herself. Her speech was heartfelt and unsurprisingly clever; I am a fan. But the poor woman was doomed in this role. Woody Allan is a genius. He is another Hitchcock and  the most prolific and successful screenwriter ever I suspect, but he also caused moral hearts to chill when he married his stepdaughter. His personal life makes the apt honouring of his heroic career difficult.
• I cheered alone out loud for Jared Leto when he won his award for playing the character of Rayon in Dallas Buyers Club, but when he ended his speech by acknowledging and accepting his award for "all the Rayons in the world" I cried. That was classy.
• Emma Thompson was hilarious carrying her shoes and a martini. Gorgeous, talented, accompanied by her daughter; I love her. (Bono, you are such an asshole—you should take some notes from Ms Thompson about how to handle fame.)
• Alfonso Cuaron was hilarious when he told us that his thick accent had Sandra Bullock hear "I am going to give you herpes" instead of what he was trying to say: "I am going to give you (an) earpiece."
• Kate Blanchett's win and speech were both terribly satisfying. Her performance and Woody Allan's writing made her character in Blue Jasmine.
• I worship Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and her cameo cut-aways with Amy Pohler and Tina Fey were fabulous. (Take note Bono.)
• And finally, Leonardo DiCaprio, here is something you should know:

This is phyllo mania.

This is Philomena.