Ethel Has a Fit

I moved to Nice to learn French when I was in my early twenties. It was the best year of my life, and I remember what joy I felt when I awoke one morning and realized that I had dreamt of myself speaking in French. I can’t remember how far into my year that it was when I had the dream, but next month I will hit the ten-year mark of living with a severe speech disorder and yet I have never had a dream wherein I was stuttering.

Last night I had a dream in which I was speaking fluently. Perhaps the reason that stuttering hasn’t become part of my language of dreaming is because I didn’t seek to stutter and I don’t want to stutter, but I was a passionate learner of French. An agenda item for Dr. Shoja and me.

Although it had rained in the night, it had stopped by the time I rose for another day in wonderland yeseterday. I was glad to be able to walk with Her Highness on a long trail. The dawn chorus was a symphony yesterday morning. A Barred Owl, woodpeckers, Jays, Robins, Thrushes; it was a cacophony of sounds, and it was glorious.

When we were done, we returned home for the day. I, to putter until lunchtime, Her Highness to sleep until lunch. I checked out our community Facebook page and was thrilled to discover that a fellow who runs a delivery service between Gabe and Nanaimo is starting a Saturday food pick-up and delivery service.

He’s arranged with an East Indian Curry restaurant, a Chinese food restaurant, and a sushi restaurant, to work with him. Every second Saturday he’ll fetch orders we place at the curry restaurants; the alternate Saturdays will be Chinese food. During the Summer, he’ll switch to sushi because the lineups for the ferry get so long, he won’t be able to keep food warm. I love this plan, and I plan to become a supporter.  

I missed the sun all day yesterday, but the morning was much warmer than it has been for a long time. There’s a lot of rain in the forecast for the coming week. Sigh. But it didn’t rain all day yesterday so even our afternoon walk was dry. The change in the weather makes it easier to work on my taxes and do chores, as I am not inclined to go on three walks or long walks; I like staying close to the fire.

I washed my bed linen. It’s a big job because I must wash the large duvet cover separately from my sheets and pillowcases, and then I wash the bedspread on which Sheba sleeps and sometimes drools. It takes forever to wash it all, and then to put the bed together, but I did it and I could hardly wait to get into it when it was done.

I took some stuff to the shed, when I came back inside, the bed was covered, absolutely covered in little bits of something. I had to spend a good half-hour getting the little pieces of stuff off the bedspread that is velvet and holds onto tiny strands of crap. As I cleaned, I realized what had happened. Colleen opened our friendship gate in the fence and Sheba had been sleeping in a massive pile of sawdust in Colleen’s yard. She is rebuilding her bunky. 

The kitchen, part of the living room and the bed required cleaning. There was sawdust and wood chips everywhere. This, after having cleaned the bed and vacuumed everywhere. I was pooped when I was done, so pooped that I kept getting dizzy when I was Zooming with Steve who’s just back from a month in Australia/New Zealand. After the call, I knew I was not going to do any SPACE work. I got on the couch to read until our afternoon walk. And then I read some more until dinnertime.

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It scares me how much I love Sheba. We are always together. She sleeps on my bed. She’s big; one of her parents was an enormous Bernese Mountain Dog. She comes by her heft honestly, and she is wonderful to hug. She’s so big, it’s like hugging a person. And that’s what she feels like to me, a person. She is my partner and I know her well. 

Awareness of this makes me fear the day when …. I have Dr. Shoja to help me, and I have Fred and Ethel who will undoubtedly outlive Sheba. Fred, particularly, will be of great help because he is so rich with character. He talks to me all the time. He’s constantly in my face, and I’ve come to love his complexity. 

I love Ethel too, of course. She is a classic feline. She is far more private than Fred. She has, though, learned to talk from Fred. She now calls to me when she wants something. I absolutely adore her because she likes to be near me a lot. They are all so different, but we are family. 

It thrilled me the other day to watch Fred standing in front of Sheba who was lying on her side on the kitchen floor. Fred was right in Sheba’s face, howling at Sheba the way he often howls at me. I call it his command howl, but Sheba was non-responsive. There has never been any trouble between us except for when I first got Fred and Ethel. They hated each other, or Fred was freaked by her, and Ethel was forced to defend herself. The latter is more likely. I did what I was advised to do by the breeder and the vet; I put them in the guest bathroom and closed the door. They fought for two days, but then things turned and soon we were a cautious unit.

Late evening we had a very depressing time because dear Ethel had her fourth epileptic seizure. Her seizures are violent and very, very scary. When she seizes, I slip into a dreadful state because there is naught that I can do and my fear and powerlessness make me a bundle of shakes, jerks and tremors. She is fine this morning. She always makes a full recovery, but I lack confidence with each one that her recovery will be complete.

We will walk this morning in lovely mild temperatures but under a dark overcast sky. I’ll Zoom with Aidan and I’ll read. Here are some shots I took yesterday:

Above: Six Butterbut blooms. Below: One weird bloom.

My small Cemellia tree.

My Hellebores are blooming beautifully. 

My many Primroses are blooming.

My Croci are blooming in many places in the yard.

I don't know that this is called, but it looks like
Forget Me Nots, but it's a large plant.

Snowdrops.

Daffs.

This is Sweet Boxwood. You can hardly see the tiny
blossoms, but the entire yard smells fabulously due
to them, It smells like Jasmine.

Permanent DST

Monday was lovely. I began the day doing a lot of domestic chores. After a day-and-a-half away and yesterday being My Day (a day of no responsibilities), I had a lot of vacuuming, cleaning and putting things away to do. And then we went for a sunny walk with our friends.

When we got home, I got busy with more chores. I had recycling to do, I had to clean the cattery, and I had more things to unload and put away from my trip to Walmart. And then I did some SPACE homework and kept the fire going as it was still chilly outside (6°). And after doing a bit of work on the SPACE database, Sheba and I went walking through the Elder Cedar grove. It was 13° and when I came home, it was too hot in the house. I let the fire go out for the evening. Spring is here! The house got too hot for a fire, and the stream in Elder Cedar is extremely low.

When we got home, I got on the chaise and read until dinnertime. It was a wonderful day. Every day here is wonderful. My appointment at St. Paul’s was the last one on the study, so I will not have to go to Vancouver for health reasons anymore. That’s great news for me because I am so wonderfully happy here at home. Staying here and straying no further than Nanaimo is the best medicine for me in that I have no seizures and I am blissful. 

Late yesterday, the BC government announced that we are staying on Daylight Savings Time permanently. This coming Sunday, we change our clocks for the last time as we move to the permanent change. I’m ambivalent about the news. I liked the sudden changes in light patterns each year, but it’s going to be interesting to see what it’s like this Winter when we stay on DST.

Today has dawned damp. It rained in the night ending our ten days of sunshine. I must walk with Sheba early this morning and then stay home because my Tezspire is due to arrive today. I don’t take it until the 20^th of the month, but the infusion pharmacy is sending it earlier every month. I doesn’t really matter to me because I just keep it in the fridge until I take it.

I’ll work on the database again today, but I am getting sick of doing this mundane work, but I will persevere because I’m building a valuable tool for SPACE. I’ll also do some reading and, of course, more walking with Her Highness.

Still Happy to be Home

I was blissfully happy yesterday except for when I thought of poor Stormy’s passing. I shed tears often throughout the day thinking of her, Deborah and Alwyn. They are broken by the loss.

But most of the day, because I awakened to daylight, and because it was incredibly sunny, and because we’d escaped snow all Winter, my spirits were soaring all day. I was home and not in the city. I love my home and I love being here. And on top of all that, it was My Day.

We went for a short walk in the morning because I wanted to do a lot of putting things away before we walked. I got a lot of supplies at Walmart. Plus, I wanted to be home in time to Zoom with Dianne, and talking with her was wonderful. Her daughter, Ashlee, is marrying a fabulous man in August, and I am going to the wedding in Dianne’s garden, and yesterday Dianne said that Sheba and I could stay at her house the evening after the wedding.

After our call, Sheba and I went shopping and then we went to Drumbeg to walk in glorious warmth and bright sunshine. Nothing beats walking in Drumbeg in a sunny day.

Th evening was the usual, and I slept like a bear through the night. We’re in for another bright and sunny day today, but the rain returns tomorrow along with much warmer nighttime temperatures. I will likely do some SPACE work and some reading today. It will be another slow and gentle day.

Vancouver 👎

By 13:30 Friday, I’d had four seizures. When I pulled into the parking lot of the Vancouver Island-to-Vancouver ferry, I felt strangely uncomfortable. It felt like I was filling up with something nasty, I now think it was anxiety that built to the seizures. I came home to a cold house and quickly lit the fire. Then I lay on the chaise, and thought to myself, I must never leave this island.

It was a beautiful day on both days, so that was a plus. Everything went according to plan with the hospital visit, and then I went off to meet Dwight for lunch. First, I went to the wrong street, parked and then realized what I had done, and set off to the correct street. But I could not find a place to park, so I was very late, and very, very stressed when I reached Dwight.

Trying to walk quickly and uphill to meet him, exhausted me. I was heaving for breath, but the food we had was delicious, and then Dwight walked me to my car many, many blocks away. From then on, I had to deadlines and I began to relax. We went to Ambleside beach where there is a large off-leash area to walk together, and then we went to John and Bunny’s place for dinner and to sleep.

One with the Moirs, I was relaxed. We had a good long talk before and during dinner, and then suddenly it was 22:00 and bedtime. John came with Sheba and I to a waterfront park to walk, and then he walked home and Sheba and I headed off to the ferry on a cool but beautiful day. We arrived on the big island just past noon and went to Walmart for paper and pet supplies before catching the Gabriola ferry that left just before 15:00. We were home at 15:30 and I’m not sure who was happiest, Sheba, me or the cats.

I unloaded the many supplies I’d bought, and then there was a knock at the door. It was my neighbours Deborah and Alwin. They’d come by to tell me that their dog Stormy had died. I wad grief stricken. We were all crying and chatting together for quite a while. Stormy and I loved each other. Whenever Alwin or Deborah walked her, she always stopped at my driveway to watch for me, and I would run outside to make a big fuss over here. I just loved her and so yesterday afternoon was very, very sad.

But it was so, so incredibly good to be home. I had no seizures during December, January and February I don’t think, and then four on Friday. I was right to leave the city, and I never want to live in one again. I want to stay home every day for the rest of my life. But I’m going to Vancouver in the Summer for Dianne’s daughter, Ashlee’s, wedding.

Today began with a thrill. I was exhausted from my days on the road, so I slept in until 6:00 this morning, and when I got up, it was daylight outside. That was a first for this year, rising to daylight. It’s very exciting!

Today will be a day of rest. It’s My Day, it’s stunning outside. The sky is clear, the sunshine is brilliant, it’s cold but the afternoon may be warm, and soon the rains return. So, we’ll have some lovely walks to day, and I’ll read and we’ll have a lovely quiet and warm day at Pinecone Park.