New Asphalt

Well, the best part of my day was driving on the new asphalt covering the long stretch of deathly dreadful holes and patches on Buttercup Ave. It’s the only road in and out of our cluster of streets mid-island. It’s what connects us to North Road, the circle road of the island. It’s a huge improvement that is long overdue.

It was raining when I got up. It rained, of and off, all day, sometimes heavily. It’s odd, spending all day indoors. However, I am reading John of John, and I could not be happier. I’ll read anything Douglas Steward writes. I adore his writing; he’s a prose master his books feature gay characters. 

We walked again in the afternoon. As we walked our final twenty meters, light rain started falling. The heavy rain began at 16:00. It rained, sometimes, like a tropical downpour. At 18:30, there was very light rain, but the light was magnificent; the clouds had thinned. Suddenly I was enjoying the brightest part of our day. The foliage glowed in the light. The leaves have been washed of Summer dust and are shining with their coat of water. Drops of water on dipping leaves add sparkle to my view.

It was stunning to look out every window. I feel blessed to have a soul that attunes me to nature. How great is it to be able to look out a window and not see the handiwork of man? I marvelled looking out my windows last night in such beautiful light. The foliage is flush; the leaves have yet to fall. It looks so lush and healthy and vital, the forest.

Meanwhile, inside, close to the fire box, Fred is sprawled, tummy up, on a chair, and Sheba is asleep on the floor. Ethel was on the bed. All three of them use the bed every day, the twins will sleep there for hours. (Ethel and Fred; aren’t really twins, but they came to me as kittens on the same date. They are not blood related.)

I’ve written before that our neighbours had a cat that never should have been accepted from another neighbour. The cat was always outdoors, crying to get in. When that family moved, I took the cat. At the time of course, I was not conscious of the neglect I was experiencing. That was to come later. 

That cat, Alec, was my first experience with love and touch with a soul that demonstrated trust with physical connection. I felt loved for the first time. We rescued each other’s soul. He was Alec. He was white and he was always on my lap, or on my chest if I was lying down, or following me. I imprinted on Aleck. I was destined to have deep affection for cats. Fred and Ethel are indoor cats. They are always here, and all of us trust each other.

I’m at my desk. Fred and Ethel are each on their own chair. A Fedex truck pulls into the driveway. Sheba goes berserk barking. The cats scatter and I immediately get up and go to the front window. Sheba is head of security. I am cook and door attendant for Her Highness. The cats are soul food.

Newly freed by necessity from my dog walking group, and now imprisoned by the rain, I am aware of my solitude. I have a mild fear about Winter. This happens every year, and by Spring, I fear all the work that Summer brings. But both fears quickly fade. I know that. But it doesn’t stop those fears coming to visit each year.

Dr. Shoja is my lifeline. I only talk with her once a month. I see her twice a month when times get rough. But between my visits with her, she is with me. I have an incredible asthma doctor, and an HIV specialist and a cardiologist monitoring me. All of them are available at any time. 

But Dr. S. looks after my emotions. Plus, she will be with me for the rest of my life. Her lifelong service is free to me due to my diagnosis. 

Objectively, it astounds me to see a person so altered from one form of existence to another —overnight! And then to be told that the cause is childhood neglect. That too, astounds me. Dr. S. told me, early on, that neglect was the worst form of child abuse. I found that hard to believe, but no more!

I feel saved by Aleck, and all the other four-leggers of my past, and all the florae. But I had to have a soul highly receptive to these triggers of love and beauty. This aspect of my character, my passion for natural beauty is a blessing. It brings joy into my life every day now that I life here on the edge of the forest.

This is how I think: I’d rather that childhood neglect affects my body and speech, rather than my personality or state of wellbeing. I’m a happy guy by default, thanks to the nourishment of friends along the way—human, animal and floral.

Still Raining

Cloudy sky returned yesterday morning. Morning fires are routine now, and I rejoice in every day that doesn’t require me to water the garden beds. I posted and did domestic chores all morning leading up to our walk. Fred was stomping around on the bed and howling at 4:00. 

Waking my mind and body is equivalent to booting up and opening apps. Yesterday morning, within seconds of being awake, I was stewing about disappointing my SPACE colleagues. I let myself down and it hurts. But fuck that Canadian Stuttering Association! They deserved what I wrote to them. They should know how grandly they are failing me and others like me.

We went for our morning walk and then when we came home, I read until lunchtime, but I loved video chatting briefly with Beth and Bruce, who’s visiting the east. Then we all had lunch and afterwards Her Highness and I went for another walk and then to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription.

The vet wrote me a long and detailed email. I am so glad I am with this vet clinic! Sheba’s blood test revealed a ‘marked’ elevation in her liver enzymes. Although I don’t know exactly what that means, I know it is not good. She could have liver disease, or it could be because of long-term steroid usage. She’s going on medication and she’ll have regular blood tests going forward.

I also heard from the arborist. The invoice is for 25% of what I expected, so I am thrilled. I’ll be getting probably two to two and a half cords of wood from the tree, at a fraction of the cost of my regular supplier. Woo hoo!

We didn’t go on our evening walk. Mid-afternoon it started raining, so we skipped our evening walk. But man-oh-man if felt good to get so much rain all afternoon and evening, and to go to bed hearing the rainfall on the roof. I love that.

And this morning, it’s still raining. Now I miss watering. My watering days may be over for this season. There’s an even balance of sunshine and rainfall in the forecast. But hey, it’s Friday. We’ll walk when we can and I’ll read today. It’s going to be a slow day!

Amrum

 

It was a happy morning for me yesterday, thanks to the rain and not having to water. I lit a fire, posted and did dishes and a load of laundry before taking Her Highness for our morning walk. What an exciting life I lead, eh?! Walking after a rainfall is lovely. The forest fragrances always trigger memories of walks from my past in England and France.

Much of my morning, was spent reading and posting. We had an early lunch, and then I read some more until it was time to Zoom with Aidan. I found out that Aidan and Devon were disappointed that I sent my screed to the Canadian Stuttering Association without giving them a chance to vet my response. They favour diplomacy and I chose to express my profound anger at their decision not to help me find other stutterers who had their bank accounts flagged as fraudulent because of the delay in our response to security questions. I still feel badly that I disappointed them.

At 16:00, I video chatted with Dianne. She’s coming here with her cousin Beverly for Thanksgiving. Our friend Jane my come down from Parksville as well. That was a fun call for me.

In the evening, I watched Amrum. I rented it from Apple TV because of the trailer I saw on YouTube (above). It is the most beautiful film, but it tells a bit of a harsh tale as we watch young Nanning learn how close to home cruelty can be. The cinematography is absolutely stunning. Amrum is a beautiful island off the coast of northern Germany, It is extremely picturesque as captured in this film. I loved it. It was a great way to end my day.

Visiting the new Vet and Cleaning the Gutters and Roof

Oh my goodness, what a busy day!

Fred woke me at 4:00 yesterday morning. I’ve never been awakened by an alarm clock. I’ve never needed one because I’ve always been a very early riser. But I’m awakened all the time now by Fred. He’s loud and he’s heavy when he walks over me as I’m wishing I could sleep longer. Then, once Sheba is sure Fred has done his job, she joins in with her ‘feed me’ whimpers. 

I’m never angry about their morning insistence. I always get up and each time, I reinforce their habit unfortunately. But I cannot bring myself to close the door. If I do that, Ethel will frantically scratch at the door in the night because the toilet is her preferred place to drink. 

I was easy to raise yesterday because we were going to the new vet in Nanaimo for a 9:45 appointment. But more important than that was that I was going to be able to have delicious sushi for lunch and do some shopping for some things I love to eat but cannot get here on Gabriola.

This vet visit is the only appointment I have this week. I have no Zoom calls or social engagements, so I’ll have lots of time to memorize my script and to do some other SPACE work. It’s predicted to rain tomorrow, and the ensuing days are neither all sunny and bright, nor warm, so my watering duties may dwindle for a while. Hooray!

I left here at 7:30, got into the ferry line, and then took Sheba for a walk while we waited for the ferry. On board, I worked on my script. I was chuffed to be able to recite faultlessly, the three hundred words I’d learned on Monday. I will be finished memorizing my speech today.

Once on the big island, we went immediately to Thrifty Foods and I did my shopping. I put all the perishables in my fabulous portable cooler in which I’d place ice bags. And then we went to the vet.

I was thrilled by everything at the vet. Sheba has stiffness in her left rear leg, so that has been what’d been slowing her down. She’s lost weight, so I was chuffed and they praised me for all my decisions about Sheba. I am very glad I switched to this veterinary clinic. It’s small, friendly and efficient. I didn’t even have to wait.

We were back home before noon. And no sooner had I put everything away and installed myself on the chaise for a wee nap, when Peter arrived. He was headed home for lunch, but he stopped by to tell me that he was coming back afterwards to clean my gutters and roof of all the needles and shite. I felt I should get started so, by the time he arrived back here to work, I’d done quite a bit of the work.

Then Jeff arrived. He came to inspect the tree I wanted to take down and it’s going to cost much more than I thought it would cost, but it will yield a lot of wood for next Winter after it dries out next Summer. It’s a huge tree and Jeff thought I was wise to get it down because it is leaning and its root system goes under my cistern. So down it will come, regardless of cost. They will buck and split it as well, hence the high price.

We worked, and we worked hard, until 17:30, and when we were done, I felt like a zombie. I was thoroughly baked. I fed the brood and then myself, watched a very short film and was in bed by 20:00 with my book.

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Woo hoo! Rain! It felt so, so wonderful to open the back door to let Sheba out after her breakfast and hear rain and see wetness everywhere. Best of all was knowing that I didn’t have to water today. My plan is to finish the fabulous novel that I’m reading (Angle of Repose), and to do some SPACE work.

I have all day to myself, but I will Zoom with Aidan at 14:00. The fire’s lit and I am ready for a lovely relaxing day with the brood.