Zooming in a Beauty of a Day

The amount of pollen this year is astounding! Clouds of it blow into clouds on the roads just like dry snow does in Winter. When I pick up wood from the shed, it smokes like a smoldering fire log. The pollen whisps like smoke. It is everywhere, and it’s dangerous because pollen grains are perfectly round and hard. On my deck, they function like little ball bearings that threaten to have me slip and fall.

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We’re back to cold mornings and lighting fires; however, our afternoons are wonderfully warm and inspiring. I rose with some hope that my speech was back to my version of normal, but no, I felt locked in again. I’ve passed the point of caring, however. I will just deal with whatever happens.

We got our day started by walking with our friends, and then Her Highness and I went into the village to do some grocery shopping and to visit the pharmacy. And soon after getting back to Pinecone Park, it was lunchtime, and after lunch I had a nap and puttered around until my 13:30 chat with my HIV doctor.

The call was a challenge. I got sent a link for our chat, and I sat for half an hour waiting for Dr. Hull to come online. Then I got an email from the tech nurse saying that Teams wasn’t working properly, so I sent a Zoom link and we talked that way. To do that, Dr. Hull had to give me his email address, so now I have it and I can write to him instead of calling through the relay system and getting his bitch of a receptionist who hung up on my operator twice.

Then Sheba and I went for an inspiring walk together before returning to Pinecone Park for our supper. I fed my beloveds and then I Zoomed with Aidan to prepare for our talk with BC Emergency Health Services today. Then came dinner, a movie, and then reading in bed before turning in.

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Today is another fine, fine day. We’ll walk, I’ll have at least one spa, I’ll read and, of course, Aidan and I will be talking with BC Emergency Health Services. I’m very excited about the call. More tomorrow.

Improvement!

I had an early morning spa when it was 3°. A cold front came in, but the sun remains and the predicted windstorm didn’t come—well, it came but it was not 70K winds. Then Sheba and I walked together.

My call with Dr. Shoja went well. My diary system works just fine and I did some mush talking that she could understand. She agrees with my conviction that I am worse because of understanding, accepting and grieving the neglected child label. She understood completely, accepting that my emotional understanding of my abuse is the reason for my decline.

I was chuffed to find that mush talk serves some function. I get blocks when I use it, so it is not reliable. But it can sometimes save me from a bit more typing. I taught Dr. S. two basic signs that I use a lot. I may be teaching all my friends a few basic signs.

I discovered yesterday, that in BC I can give more than one person my power of representation, so I am going to do that. I’m going to ask Dwight, and someone who lives on the island. Then I am going to inform my bank, my accountant and my doctors about my representatives and include copies of the legal document so that I can get help with important personal things from a speaking person.

After chatting with Dr. S., Sheba and I went for a second walk. I’m so glad that we did that because walking in such glorious sunshine is excellent for my spirit. My soul soars on such a day. Walking was spectacular. Then we came home for lunch.

And Steve called. I was able to speak with him. It wasn’t smooth, there were lots of blocks, but it was good enough to communicate. I did not use the chat service. And on the trail, words came out to a person I passed. I felt better. I had hope. I wondered if talking with Dr. S., which has often helped me feel better in the past, was the reason.

Then my Tezspire arrived and our power went out. The drug is supposed to go directly into the fridge, but I did not want to turn the generator on. I wanted to go for our third walk and then put it on. So, I put the Tezspire, still in its ice case, in the shed and we walked the Ricki trail, and I was able to connect to the Hydro website on my phone to learn that a crew was onsite at the source of the problem.

When we got home, the power was on. I put my drug into the fridge, and I called the pharmacy via the relay service to get a return label for the box. I always ask them to send one, and they very often forget.

Throughout the day, I was back and forth with St. Paul’s trying to figure out how I was going to talk to Dr. Hull today. Their technician left making the arrangements rather late. I had to write to ask for clarification. But the tech nurse is a nice person. Still, negotiating for a way that I can communicate is a bitch. It takes a lot of planning and arranging with everyone I want to communicate with. But////

Last night I called Beth and I was able to speak well with her. Very well, in fact, and this after speaking rather well with Steve. It seems like my capacity with friends is much better, so I was a bit shocked and sad to discover that this morning I couldn’t. talk to my beloveds. I’m very confused about what is going on now, but I am more hopeful for my future. Today, I Zoom with my HIV doctor, Dr. Hull. I’ll see how it goes.

Three more days of sunshine, then, I hope, two days of rain. We need rain! I shall read and I may do some yard work. I also need to do some work for SPACE. I’ll play today by ear.

Dr. Shoja Day

Monday began with a slew of domestic chores. I wanted to get everything done in the house that I wanted to do so that I could enjoy being outdoors if I wanted to for the remainder of the day. But nothing is pressing.

We walked with our friends at 9:30. I could speak my much-speak to say a word here and there with my friends. I can still make people laugh. After our walk, we went shopping and I came home to make some spicy African Peanut Chicken Soup. I love it. But after I ate, I crashed. I was so done, all I could do was nap and read. There was to be no yard work yesterday.

These tiny blue flowers permeate the moss in a nearby meadow.

I have reached the “I don’t give a fuck” stage of non-verbalism. I truly don’t care about it anymore because I can text and mush-talk with friends, and that’s all I need to feel secure in my friendships. More than ever, I love my time alone with my pets. And in the spa.

I had a soak in the early afternoon, and much to my chagrin, pollen made its way into the water. It’s only an aesthetic problem, and it will clear up in time. Once I was done, I came in to cool off and get dressed so that I could take Her Highness for our afternoon walk. Heavy winds are predicted; I may lose my power yet again. I hope not!

Our native Currants are in bloom all through the forest.

Last night, I worked all night on my text for my session with Dr. Shoja today. I started preparing my communications plan for us. I started keeping notes for her immediately when I went mute. Between March 20 and April 5, I didn’t date them; now I do. Each week, I will write a little intro and then situate her as to where we are in the diary, copying and pasting, MS Word to Zoom chat feature, one or two paragraphs at a time.

And so it will go. Two diaries now.

 The first blooms of bazillions on my big Rhodo are out!

On Sunday night on Kanopy, I watched a thoroughly enjoyable film called Ex Husbands. I meant to write about it yesterday but forgot. Reading about it, did not invite me in at all, but one star is James Norton, and I just love looking at the man. He is so deliciously handsome. But the film quickly drew me in because the writing is spot on. I loved every second of it.

Today, finally, I see Dr. S. I’m totally ready. I’m proud of the preparatory work that I’ve done, and of my plan for how we can communicate. I have the rest of the day to myself, and it’s going to be another beauty of a day. We have four more days of sunshine in the forecast and then, thankfully, we are due some showers.

As I write this, I have three hours to wait until I see the good doctor. I will walk Her Highness before I turn on Zoom.