A Goodbye Letter

By the time we were ready to go to meet our friends to walk, there was lots of blue sky overhead. We were happy not to be walking in rain and I was looking forward to getting more yard work done when I got home. However, when I got home, it had turned dark, and it felt like rain. I brought the laundry in and lit a small fire to help heat the house and dry my clothes. Ron came at 1:00 to walk Her Highness, and shortly after he left, it began to rain. I was pruning, so I kept at it, got wet, and then the sun was back.

I continue to feel better. I credit my conversation with Dr. Shoja, but it is both of us who make me feel better. I write to her often between meetings, and that copy becomes the course of each meeting. I do a lot of thinking and writing between every meeting. I have earned my improvement. It also could be this new drug that I am on. I had 2 naps yesterday because I felt absolutely beat. When I read about the drug, I was happy to be on it, even if it makes me weary. I have lots of time.

I’m looking forward to Sunday and visiting Dianne. The only time I go to the big island, is to go to the hospital (pacemaker clinic) or the eye clinic. Sunday I am going just for fun. It would be nice were it a beautiful sunny day, but it is likely to be cloudy. Still, it’s an adventure made possible by the presence of a dear and trusted friend.

Ten days ago, when things were dark within, home was feeling like a prison. But no more. And I value the work I do. It gives me something to do; it keeps me busy outside where I love to be when it is sunny. What a difference 10 days can make. I feel content again. That’s the best that I can do and it’s a very comfortable feeling for my broken brain.

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I wrote a goodbye letter to my dearest of young friends, Todd and Jessica. I was pleased with the letter. The dominant theme concerns how much I love them and why. I also say that I will never stop loving them. But it’s just weird because of Jess’ mother dumping me in a mean way. My relationship with Todd and Jess is suffering collateral damage. I wanted to write the letter as much for me. 

I hope it puts the whole family/relationship comfortably in the past. Writing the letter was part of my effort to settle my mind in hopes of improving my speech. I had a seizure the night the boys were here for dinner. A fairly long and difficult one. I don’t expect them to stop, but by quitting fitness and the Sunday dog walk, I will have far fewer of them.

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Kris and Nancy are coming for tea/wine/goodies on Tuesday. They’re coming to see the garden, and I’m excited about having them over for snacks and drinks in the garden. Today has dawned bright and sunny, although rain and lightning are predicted. I shall putter around the gardens to tidy things up as best I can so that on Tuesday, Pinecone Park is looking at its best.