Saturday, December 14, 2013

Saturday in Sayulita

It is wonderful to be here but odd to have come immediately after hearing that Mike, a friend since the dawn of adolescence, had died and while dear friend, Chris, is in very serious decline. Given these realities, it is hard to write about sandy beaches, good food and fun times; my body is here but a lot of my heart is at home.

This house had Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls by David Sedaris in its library. I have read things by him in the New Yorker, including one of the stories in this collection, and often been amused but at times he had me laughing out loud. What a gift, to be able to write like that.

Hudson, age nine, and Sahara, age twelve, are constant companions; it took just a couple of days. I find this pattern repeats; at first there is distanced acceptance and then, suddenly, there is a rush of warmth and affection for "Uncle Chris." I love three generations of this family.

I turned 66 ten days ago and now it doesn't hurt to say I failed completely at loving. I never learned how to do it or feel it due to the failure of my (no-fault) adoption. Loving, in fact, became an intolerable experience.

If you made a word cloud out of the comments on my report cards from elementary school, the only big words would be EXTREMELY SENSITIVE PERSON. An emotion can overtake me completely. Emotions cause me to lose control so it is convenient to live life at a distance. No, it is essential to live life at a distance so as not to hurt myself or anyone else. The closest I can get is what I feel with this Humphrey family and other close friends. Three generations of them have opened their hearts and homes to me.

But whereas I cm crap at loving, I can be a good friend (I think and hope). I met Chris, the Humphrey patriarch, in my father's office. Handsome as sunrise, he was out of his element doing fine finicky work (well) for my Dad, so I lured him away to build the theatre I designed for Presentation House in North Vancouver where he lived. Through him I met Frani, his wife and Jessica, his daughter. I took immediately to Frani and not at all to Jess. Then came Jake, and adorable and very loving little boy.

When Jessica became a young woman, I melted. And when she started travelling and writing to me, I fell deeply for her. And when, after years of working and travelling, she came home with Todd, he went straight into the core of my heart. As with my friend Dwight, it was like at fist sight.

Sahara was Todd and Jess' first born. She is severely disabled and she has changed us all for the better. Then came Hudson who is, right now, my favourite human being on the planet. He and I are planning a "show" for the family and he is more excited about that than the beach.
Stunning eh?! And huge!

This Hibiscus was on the side of the road!


Not Frani.
On the night of the 12th there we took in an evening parade and celebration for St. Guadalope who popularized Christianity in Mexico. The music and beer flowed and so did wonderful Mariachi music.
Mr. Guadalope.

No comments: