Thursday had me
choose to do an odd thing. I went back to where I collapsed on the seawall
— actually to sit on the bench where the particularly nasty seizure
occurred that got me ambulanced and hospitalized.
Saturday year
of rain fell. (It was a sad day, too; Edward Albee died.
I had my
electric fireplace on to make the place feel cozy and I binge watched American Crime on Netflix.
I finished the very
simple crinoline during the week. (I loved making something so retro.) I bought
an old frame made to host a wreath and took it apart to get the wire circles I
needed; it was a fabulous find. I made the web with ribbon.
While I watched
season one of A.C., I started on the
peacock “slip.” I got as far as I could but I need green ribbon to finish it.
Tonight, while I finish season two, I will make more of the eighty feathers I
need.
Last night, Robin
came over for drinks and dinner. She was the first person with whom I’d spoken
since Wednesday. I am still shocked by my stutter.
When I was last
with Dr. Shoja, we discussed what “better” meant. She keeps saying that I’ll
get better and I believe her. But I am wondering if “better,” for me, means
merely seizure-free or if it includes not stuttering. It’s a question to ask
her next week — or not. Sometimes you don’t want answers; sometimes
answers kill hope.
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