Wednesday was a day I’d been waiting for since June. I am sick of worrying about my health and heart. I am constantly thinking about it, and I want this story to end one way or another. So, off I went over ice and deep packed snow to the ferry, worried about the two hills between me and the boat. It was hard to leave Sheba behind, but friends were coming by to visit and let her out.
I could not eat before leaving and I had to stop drinking Diet Coke Monday night. I was carrying water with me as that was all I could consume until the test was over. And let me tell you, the test was a walk in the park. What a vast, vast difference from my MIBI in 1990. This was quick and easy. Today’s test will be much longer.
My re-entry to home was nasty! When I got home, I had a dozen emails from PayPal and my bank because I had been hacked and I spent two hours in a lot of stress dealing with the problems, and when I was done, and wanted a drink, I saw the brownies and cut myself a very small piece. Stress makes me crave sugar.
A few hours later, I realized with horror and shame, what I had done. I tried to call the nuclear medicine people but there was only an answering machine. And I have to leave my island at 7:30 this morning to get here in time to make my appointment and report my mistake.
I will pay for this mistake because my doctor, Dr. Chen, will not get the information he needs to diagnose my problem. Also, if they choose to do the second test, I know that may mean waiting another 6 months, and it will be very hard for me during that time of waiting. But I may abandon hope of my docs finding and fixing the problem because this morning I saw the results of yesterday’s test online. The only thing mentioned of a problematic nature is the aneurism, but it seems to be something to monitor rather than fixing. Sigh.
I’m in the dumps folks. I’m feeling that I may just have to live with this problem. I can do that. It won’t be easy or pleasant, but I’m still alive and I’m good at adapting.
No photos today. I’m too rushed and disappointed.
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