I now know that I have had C-PTSD most of
my life. Symptoms emerged in my mid-forties; they were mild and sporadic. I
became clinical on April 9th of this year. I’ve been in therapy for
six weeks but my symptoms are worse than ever.
I have seizures now — lots of them unless I
stay home alone. I do not answer the phone because I cannot talk at all.
My friend Bruce is coming to escort me to
my first speech therapy session tomorrow and to my psychiatrist on Wednesday. I
have asked him to come into my sessions with me to speak for me as he has been
witnessing the seizures. We are anticipating talking about my taking some kind
of medication.
I am not sad about this — for the most part
that’s true; I’ve had my moments. Thankfully, the body pain has gone. If I
don’t talk, I don’t stutter. If I try to talk, it leads to a seizure.
The seizures exhaust me. They are brutal to
endure and I go to a very strange mental space. I become non-responsive and am
prone to jerky physical movements.
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