Feeling Off

I can barely remember Sunday, even Monday is vague and it’s all because I’ve been feeling miserable. Self-pity is a mood killer.

My fatigue/lack of energy has become worse again. Walking Sheba is barely enjoyable. Plus, I have several injuries and they, together with the fatigue, have me feeling rather defeated and unhappy. This is new for me as all my life I’ve been relentlessly happy.

I kind of tripped in the bathroom and fell against the door jam and somehow, that action scraped the skin off a large portion of my arm. I quickly drew the skin back over my exposed arm, and then I bandaged it up. On the same day, when I was chopping wood, I somehow bashed a finger, and it caused a lot of swelling in the finger and in my right hand. Plus, as I’ve been complaining about of late, my right shoulder is very painful. It’s hard to sleep and I try to do everything with my left arm and hand. And late Sunday, when I went out for wood, a piece of wood fell against my leg. No big deal, right? It wasn’t much of a tap, but I found a rather large lump on my leg when I lifted my trouser leg to see what all the throbbing was about. It’s all become too much.

I love to escape into sleep. I’ve become a nap monster but it’s not a good idea because sleeping in the night becomes harder, partly due to the pain, and partly due to having retreated into sleep so often during the day. This will pass. My wounds will heal. But I won’t likely get any feedback about what’s wrong with my breathing until February. Sigh. 

I’m very happy I have an empty calendar; I’m very glad to have no social engagements right now. I just want to stick to myself and stay home and warm and to heal.