Soft and Slow

Friday flew by. I walked with my group in the morning. It was good to be reunited after the storm. I asked that we walk the Windecker trail (because it is flat), and that’s where we went. It was my first visit to this trail since the bomb cyclone, and holy shit, the landscape has changed. 

The trails are brighter because trees are down in places, and we had to pass through many cleared trees that had fallen across the trail. In one place, a tree had blown over and its root system—Fir trees here have very shallow roots here—towered six meters up into the air. It’s monumental. We walked through a significantly changed landscape.

Then I went shopping, came home and made another vat of curried beansprouts and seafood. This is such a delicious meal for me. It’s quick and easy to make, and its full of flavours that I love—flavours I discovered in my travels. I still love a French meal, and I love country Québecois cooking, but I love Asian cuisine.

Henri was here all day today, I’m very happy with his work. He works slowly, but thoughtfully and constantly. What I like best is that he comes, and he does what he wants. I don’t direct him. Yesterday, he said that next time he comes, he’ll clear as much as he can of the forest fall from the roof. He’s more a caretaker than gardener for me. We’re a good fit.

•

I met L in the late 70s. We quickly became fast friends. We are friends to this day. But fifteen years ago, I received no reply to a couple of emails, and I became increasingly concerned—for her, or so I thought back then. I was distraught for days. I don’t remember how the story continued, but it ended with us reunited.

Recently, it happened again, but this time, so far, I am not doing anything, nor am I concerned, because I realize that all our communication begins with me, so I’m inclined to treasure wonderful memories of my cherished friendship, and hope to see her again, but it will be up to her.

I have learned a lot about myself after six years with Dr. Shoja. I considered L to be a sister. We were very close. I had self-appointed siblings; their status was unknown to them. My family of friends were my only family, so I now understand my concern, when L stopped replying, was for myself. I was losing a sister. The saddest part of my new understanding of myself is that the neglect I suffered doomed me to this solitary life I lead.

•

Today, I bake, because tonight I dine with Stacy, Ron, Di, Bryce, and Nancy, at Stacy’s place, and I’m making and taking a desert.