My Life with Functional Neurological Disorder: High on Joy

I was high all day yesterday—high on joy.

I arose to a sky full of stars. I fed my short friends, and did domestic things until 8:00, when Sheba and I went for a walk on the trails and although it was cool (6°), it was thrilling because I knew we were in for a spectacular day. Our trail walk was uneventful for me, The Royal Nose, however, was kept mighty busy along the way.

Then came fitness. The love was back. I had a great, great time, and I keep noticing rewards. I have better balance, I’m making progress with sit ups, and my posture is better. I had a fun time, whereas last time I was watching the clock constantly, praying for the class to end. And the drive home was fabulous. There was the blazing sunshine, but also I had the knowledge that for the rest of my day, I could do as I pleased. I passed sea views, farms filled with animals, fields of snow geese, and my favourite part: driving through the forest on an unpaved road.

We went into the village for supplies. This morning, I’m going to make a galette for Dave and Ursula, their son and Andrew the builder to share. On the way home, I bought some flowers that I’ll plant today or tomorrow. I’m addicted to gardening.

After lunch, I went over to see their work and I asked lots of questions and they gave me wonderful answers. Dave is learning from Andrew; they are building under David’s direction. David earned the right to build his own home by taking a course, and my questions allowed him to share things he’d learned. I could tell he loved answering me. I’m going to take treats to them periodically as my way of being part of their extraordinary project.

I love Dave. He seems unable to talk without smiling and laughing. He’s open, warm and always welcoming. I feel very lucky to know him and Ursula. We get along very well, so I hope we share many meals as they move through the project.

Then I went down to Pete’s and when I opened the front door, Pete said: “Perfect timing!” He was just completing the grouting around new backsplash tiling in their kitchen, and he wanted my help to move the fridge back into place. The highlight of the visit was Pete getting frustrated because he couldn’t find a little clamp that held the wiring of an appliance. I asked him what he was looking for and he dismissed me, saying what he was seeking was tiny and that I’d never find it.

He was getting really frustrated and so I told him I was in no hurry and not to sweat on my account. Again, I asked him, “What are you looking for?” And that’s when he told me it was a small ‘thing’ that held the wire of a phone charger that would sit on the counter beside the fridge, and right beside me, in plain view, was the thing he wanted. It was three inches from my right hand. We had a good laugh.

Then I came home and had a spa in the sunshine. It was 12° and I just loved being alive with Sheba, who was having a yipping and jerking session in her dream state. She was on the deck beside me. We both get the shakes. Once I was dried and dressed, we went for out afternoon walk. Shortly after we set off, we met Sandy and her dog Murphy. He’s and Airedale. I’ve always loved the big Airedales, but Murph is the first one I’ve been able to interact with. It was love at first sight for me. Murph was indifferent, but as soon as I saw them, quite far in the distance, I called to him, and he came running. We have mutual love now.

And then it was home to feed the critters. After that, and before I made my dinner, I searched Britbox for something to watch. Britbox has been a rich resource for me. I only subscribe to these streaming services for a month. Next, I may do Paramount because I want to see A Gentleman in Moscow.

It was a full day, a wonderful day, and I wasn’t tired as I sat down to write this post with bright golden light casting gorgeous shadows on my window and the walls. And my fruit tree, in full bloom right now, just glows with vibrant pink in the light.

I feel so, so good. I am blissfully content here, especially now as everything is turning green. This is when all the green is pure. There are no insect bites yet, no browning, no bird shit, no dead blossoms—nothing. Everything is rich and perfect, and they all say to me: the best is yet to come. Spring is a drug.

I am extremely happy with my design for the backyard. The greenery between almost all the paving stones in the courtyard is natural and lovely. I trim it with my weed wacker, to keep it low, but it’s all natural. And—miracle of miracles—there are two beautiful mats of creeping thyme that self-seeded. And now, the base of the fountain is dense with ivy, and it spreads, just lightly, over the courtyard. Things look established. You always think of gardens needing soil, water and sunlight. They also need time.

I did my usual walkabout last night. Here are some photos.

Pollen.

More pollen.

In places, it is quite thick.

Some new plants.

The aforementioned fountain and trellis.

My flowering cherry tree.

Dave and Ursula.s foundation, as seen from my backyard.

The backyard with its natural surface where there once was lawn.
I'm happy to let it be natural, but it won't be green for long. In
summer it is a dust field, except for the gardens.