Blue and Open Skies

When I lost all my emails, I lost contact with my STAMMA group in the U.K. I wrote to them asking for reconnection data but heard nothing. Suddenly today, a bunch of emails arrived that I think were sent long ago, and they’ve asked me to be a co-administrator of our group. I’m honoured to have been asked and eagerly agreed to do it.

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Yesterday was a cleaning and tidying day. Dianne and her daughter, Ashlee, are coming on Saturday to stay for a few days. I washed all their bedding and hung it outside to dry so that they have that wonderful outdoor smell when they go to bed. I also finished another Bruno novel. My passion for Martin Walker’s writing has not diminished one iota. 

When Di is here, her friend Mog and Mog’s partner, Chris, are coming for dinner, so I’m hosting another dinner party. Di and I are talking today about what we’ll do for our Thanksgiving dinner party. She and Ashlee are willing to help me with the cooking.

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Today, I’ll do some watering but most of the day will be filled with clinic work. I’ll be working on the revamping of the website and tidying up some past work for distribution at the upcoming meetings of both committees of which I’m a member.

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One great thing about my speech crises is that when they pass, I am super happy with the poor speech that is my norm. 

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It’s a big day here at Pinecone Park. A huge tree in the wild part of my yard is coming down and several trees in the lot next door, Ursula’s and David’s lot, are coming down today. My lot is going to get a lot more light and I could not be happier about that!

Apple Fair @ 26°

It was 26° here yesterday and the same is predicted for today. Summer in October! I can’t believe how great it is. My gardens miss the rain, but I don’t. We’ve had one day of rain since mid-July. Our walk yesterday morning had me feeling giddy. It is so, so incredibly lovely to walk in the forest in October and yet still be toasty warm. All was still; there was no wind at all. 

Even watering was lovely in the increasing heat of late morning. I see things to do everywhere, but I say to myself: Next year. Instead, I came inside to be with Bruno, Sheba, Fred and Ethel. My kitties loved the small fire I lit. Although it’s so warm outside, it’s quite cool in the house, so the fire made us all very, very comfortable. 

It stuns me to be able to hang out. My laundry in October. It’s usually too humid to dry clothes outdoors this late in the year, even on a sunny day, but all my laundry was dry in a matter of an hour—but then it is 25° and very, very dry outside.

At 3:00, I went to the Apple Fair. Lots of friends were going and it was, of course, stunning weather for a community fair. There were lots of people and everyone was happy to be in shorts and tees in October. And everyone was there for the apple fritters that Slow Rise Bakery had been advertising for weeks—but they didn’t show up. But there were lots of wonderful dogs. I stopped to pat all of them.

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In the evening, I asked myself: What have I learned from the recent speech crisis. 

I learned nothing new. Put another way: I learned the same old things. There are ups and downs, but I always return to my new normal.  Know that. But I panic. I panic even thought I know that it will end. But I keep worrying that it won’t. I sometimes ache with desire to be rid of FND.

I have must tackle the website. I have clinic writing to do. And I’ve more research to do on medical trade journals across Canada. If I don’t want to talk or cannot in meetings, I like to have my thoughts and proposals on paper. I wish the rains would come. I’d do more writing. But right now, it’s exhilarating to be outdoors.

More Rest; Better Speech

Saturday was, no surprise here, sunny and bright. All I wanted to do was read and rest and to have more Pad Thai for dinner. I gave myself the entire day to chill after all the recent turmoil of muteness, a clinic board meeting, my disability assessment, and an epic day of cooking on Friday—plus the party itself. 

I started my day with an epic job of doing dishes. Then I had a lovely long leisurely spa in the brisk morning air. That was followed by a walk with Her Highness before coming home to settle onto my chaise with Bruno. I love these Bruno books. I love all the French names, the food that is a huge part of the book, and the landscapes that are so vividly described. It’s like being in France when I am with Bruno.

The severity of my speech crisis is less of a handicap now. I’m back to being capable of communicating in person around home. I’m very relieved. I wonder if stopping clinic work has helped. I wonder if being outside in October in glorious sunshine and temperatures in the mid-twenties helps. Who knows! But something is making me rally.

And now: Sunday! It will be another day of rest and relaxation, but I’ll also do some watering. It’s unbelievable that I am having to water the gardens in October!

I’m going on the big community dog walk today and then, this afternoon, I’m planning to take in the Apple Fair on the Commons. It’s something interesting to do and it’s a lovely annual community event. Then tonight, I finish my delicious Thai food and watch movies. 

Great Phad Thai

This is one of five egg crepes I made.

This is what becomes of each crepe.

Screwed up: shot in black and white. Finished Phad Thai.

We walked yesterday morning with our friends. It was a chilly 9°. It’s gloriously sunny, but morning fire season is here. My speech has always been at its best with my fellow dog walkers whom I see three-to-four times a week. Yesterday it was possible to say words one at a time. Polysyllables are impossible. Here’s an example of a ‘sentence’ I was able to say: “Steve … ex… go… Italy. Me … talk….video.” One word that’s impossible to say is, “I.”

It's very frustrating to hear people talking about, for example, the clinic. I dearly wanted to correct their mistaken impressions. I wanted to stop the circulation of misinformation, but I can’t do that. I can say very simple things with difficulty, but to say anything complex is way, way beyond me.

Once back at Pinecone Park, I got to work on tidying, cleaning, and preparing all the ingredients for the Phad Thai. I started with the most time-consuming part—making egg noodles. I used a dozen eggs and whipped them like mad with garlic, fish sauce and salt. It took me almost an hour and a half to make them, I first fry some of the mixture, making very thin crepe-like pancakes that I then cut up into strips and I lay them on wax paper. They get mixed in with the hot noodles when I cook everything up.

Making dinner took a very busy 4.5 hours. There was so, so much to do. Making the sauce took 50 minutes. Making Phad Thai from scratch is an extremely time-consuming thing to do. But I did it. However, I was not at all confident in the outcome.

One funny thing happened. The sauce requires palm sugar, and I bought some last Wednesday. I knew that I’d bought some because it was on the receipt, but I couldn’t find it anywhere in the house or in the car (in case it fell out of my backpack). So, I had to tear into the village for more yesterday—a day with precious little time to waste. Later, when getting the ice cream to add to the Apple crumble, I found the sugar I’d bought in the freezer.

When it came time to eat, I cooked the noodles, tofu, shallots, garlic, dried shrimp and sauce up in one wok, while François, my sous chef, cooked the prawns. When my mixture was ready, I dumped it all on top of the prawns in François’ wok, and then he plated the two servings we did at a time, topping each dish with lime juice, a few bean sprouts, chopped garlic scapes, and peanuts.  We put the completed servings into a warming oven, and then did two more servings. We were a perfect team.

Then we sat down to eat. I realized I was serving food that I hadn’t eaten, so I was nervous. I hadn’t made Phad Thai for probably 30 years. But it was delicious—really, really good. And my guests ate every single spec of it, and all the salad and nearly all the dessert. It was a super successful evening.

They left at 9:30 and I flopped onto the couch to recover. But there was something else: I had been able to communicate quite well. I use key words, as exampled above, and felt I was there—that I as part of the party. I listened much of the time, but I did tell a few stories as I have always loved to do at parties. I’m still in the worst condition I’ve ever been in, but I’m not mute in my own home with trusted friends. That is a huge relief.

Today is for rest, one a mega mess in the kitchen is cleaned up and an army’s worth of dirty dishes are washed and put away.