For the Fathers on their Day

Heaven: Eternal Diet Coke

Sunday: Phew!

I’ve been thinking a lot, trying to accrue
a sense of how I am going to get through
the rest of my life—trying to
decide how to kill time, but possessed of view
of being constructive and being true
to myself. And one thing I know is that I can outdo
most of my friends when it comes to
rhyming in couplets—I know I imbue
an impression in others that can easily outdo
all my other skills.

Now this is fun; this I could do
for a while to see where it leads
and if I could pursue
dialogue and tension—tell a story or two
in rhyme. But for who—
rather whom—should I brew
these words? For me? For you?
Oh, I think that won’t do,
for I now eschew attention.

And so I come back to
the question: what am I to do?

Write for myself?

Yes, that’s it. And so to review:

Couplets for me (not for you) are due—
couplets, couplets until I turn blue.
And not just rhymes, but humour too,
if, to myself, I am to be true.

So like nothing done by me hitherto
that may be what I do.

Telling stories in rhyme.
And I know I’ll construe
an opportunity for costumes,
‘cause you know how I love
needles, thread, scissors and glue.

But for now, it’s the beach
So I bid you adieu.

Feet; Chairs, Contract.

This morning I went back to Paris Orthotics for a reassessment and it was great. I have new orthotics and new shoes (2 pair) that have been developed specifically for people with Morton's, Plantars Fasciitis and/or Arthritis. All that and hope for better foot days ahead (again). God, I love Paris Orthotics and the aids they have.

Then I went to the Bay and topped up my porcelain dinnerware at the Bay. It was for sale at 40%-Off because they are discontinuing it there. Yes! Bargains!

Then I went to Restoration Hardware and ordered four new dining room chairs. See above. They are magnificently comfortable, the ideal for my guests when I am cooking. And I expect to get back to cooking with no all-consuming project on my plate.

Then, I got the contract for Uncle Gus' Monkey. A contract (Option Agreement) and letter of intent about billing. And a clear indication that this is it: We sign or we pass. We will most definitely sign.  Now we wait to see if Shavick can raise the money they need to film it, but first Warren, Janet and I celebrate with a dinner at Hawkworth.

Screenplay Almost Sold

Well this is exciting: We are down to the final points of the contract with Shavick Entertainment. We are very close to a signing the document.

Warren and I have been offered credit as "Executive Producer," but I have expressed no interest in that title/credit if I am a/the writer of the screenplay and if Knock Knock is credited as the source material and I am listed as its author.

It seems likely now, that Warren and I will sign an option agreement very soon. The plan was we would celebrate together at Hawksworth. My fingers are crossed that we do that.

•

Now the bad news: My walking is really compromised again. I am going to the podiatrist's today in hopes that new orthotics will solve the problem. In the graphic above, the symptoms described are exactly what I am experiencing.

I got the diagnosis of Morton's two years ago. Now it is far, far worse and I suspect it is due to the walking I do. I am fearful that the podiatrist is going to tell me to cut down on my walking and, honestly, that makes me cry like a baby.

•

And the worse news: I hate this news. I am losing 5% of my lung capacity per year. I am having another CT scan in October. I have been proactive, however: I have requested that I not be informed of this kind of information. Now that they know the rate of decline, they can predict my medical future. I do not want to hear it. Would you? Denial is my coping mechanism of choice.

Eagle Has Landed a Fish

After lunch with Dwight, I headed for the seawall for a really lovely walk on a lovely warm day with high overcast clouds. And while walking, I came upon a young bald eagle that had a huge fish—a fish so large it could only barely fly with it. It could only fly a few meters each time.

After Three Days Off …..

Look at that dress!! It makes me salivate with desire
to make more of my own.

And check out these satyr leggings. I desperately want to write
things that let me build things like this dress or these leggings.

Four days in and I am on the edge; I desperately need a writing project to engage me. But whatever I do, it will be with no deadline and no commitment to any producer (including me). I am going to write for myself, for my own pleasure, and wait to see if something can be done with it once it is finished.

This has never been possible for me in the past. I found it impossible to consider doing any “speculative” work; I have always needed the certainty of publishing or production to motivate me—but not any more.

In a way, I could say I have never done anything terribly well. I never sought excellence; I was satisfied with capacity. I simply wanted to be able to do things, not excel at them. But now, I believe, it may be time to try to do something well. It is time to try harder.

I found it hard/sad to accept that my motivation in doing many of the things that I have done in my life was to get attention. I no longer want to do things for attention.

The next thing I do will be for me.