Bruce Walks!

This summer has been ideal so far. We’ve had endless sunny days all in the mid-twenties and I’ve had a default destination for every walk: Bruce’s hospital. Yesterday’s agenda, when I met with Bruce, was the sleepover weekend.

I had the nicest lunch with Doug yesterday. He’s a gem. We had lunch at an Italian bistro, on the patio under an umbrella while five elegant gents talked and gesticulated in Italian punctuated with a lot of laughter. And then I had an “episode.”

A fellow walking behind us whistled. I turned to look and off I went. It was as weird as when I had one after I saw a man walking “too fast.” My brain freaks out over the oddest things. It was the second “episode” lately; they’ve been creeping back into my life. I thought I was done with them forever but now I’m thinking I may have flare ups of my symptoms now and then. Sigh.

It’s Friday and every Friday I worry a rejection will come from the Arts Club because in the corporate world you fire on a Friday. Otherwise I have no agenda today other than to add “feet” to my defiant dress base pieces to raise them an inch or two.

I’m halfway done with the shells on the pole. I’ll get more shells from the restaurant this weekend with which to finish it. Then I’ll add the buckles; they’re an important part of the armour. They indicate that these weird things are, in fact, to be (conceptually) worn.

And Bruce is on his feet. No more wheelchairs! His progress is amazing.

Sleepover with Bruce

I am staying on my anti-anxiety medication. If I’d wanted to stop she’d have concurred but it was clear to me that Dr. Shoja thinks there’s merit in continuing so I will — and happily. I admire her neutrality and her commitment to patients making their own decisions.

We talked about dreams — or in my case: nightmares. I told her all I can remember is having nightmares but by some miracle, I stopped remembering them in my thirties — once I met Steve. As with my memories, I somehow learned to shut them out but since I’ve been going to Dr. S. I’ve started having them again.

In the past two weeks I’ve had more nightmares than I’ve remembered in the past four decades. But last night, I had the first nice dream I can ever remember having — and it had people in it. Talk about a big change. I continue to be overwhelmed by the outcomes of my breakdown.

•

I drove to see Bruce yesterday afternoon and, not liking to drive, I asked myself: How can I make this trip more enjoyable? So first of all, I kept the top up and turned on my air conditioning. Heaven! And then, for the first time, I plugged my iPhone into my car radio and now I can listen to my favourite music easily while I drive (I’ve owned this car for fourteen months) — and if someone calls me, I can use buttons on my steering wheel to answer the call it through my radio!

Not this Saturday but the one after I am going to pick Bruce up, bring him home to his apartment and stay overnight with him. Then, on Sunday morning, we are going to watch the Pride parade from his balcony and then I will drive him back to Holy Family Hospital. A senior sleepover! What fun. And it’s a fireworks night that Saturday night so that’d be fun because Bruce lives right in front of where they’re set off.

•

Today I finish the defiant dress. I’m adding the final shells and it will be finished. Next I will re-do the pearl dress. I’m changing it from a gown to a skirt. It’s the dress I care for least and so I want to fix it while I continue to wait to hear from the Arts Club.

•

Today Tim is coming for lunch and tonight is a backyard BBQ dinner with friends.

This is Fortuny silk fabric. I die every time I see it. Sigh.
I visited their studio in Venice long ago. 

Monday: A Long Walk

I took a long walk to visit Bruce on Monday. (And I finally took him some chocolate.) I got several errands done on the way and came home to enjoy a fabulous evening gluing shells for the defiant dress.

Bruce has a friend for whom he has done many favors. His friend has often requested help of Bruce because Bruce has stronger technical and web researching skills.  Yesterday Bruce mentioned that this friend had not yet come to visit Bruce since his return from Italy where he had his stroke. Bruce has been back in Vancouver since June 17^th. I am disappointed by his friend’s behaviour.

Ironically, Bruce was a friendly acquaintance until I had my heart attack when he came often to visit. I remember realizing what a great guy he was and resolving that when I got out of hospital that he and I would become better friends. I was very moved by his kindness in visiting.

I’m having the best summer! I love walking to see Bruce. I get exercise and lots of vitamin D; the location of Holy Family Hospital couldn’t be better.

•

Very early Tuesday morning I went out to the 711 and on our front steps were drug paraphernalia. There were syringes, their containers, a heating spoon and the empty containers of the drug.

I love my happy hour marijuana and seeing the detritus made me wonder what it would be like to think I might die every time I got used marijuana. Or what if every time you had a glass of wine you had to find someone to drink with in case one sip killed you? What a life addicts have.

•

It’s Tuesday: Dr. Shoja day. After seeing her this morning and doing errands, I’m off to visit Bruce and then I’ll be gluing my many shells to the defiant dress pole and burning myself.