Sunday, December 24, 2017

The Day Before

This morning got off to a rough start. Fred and I were both sick to our stomach; poor Freddy was much sicker than I. I can’t even remember the last time I puked. And Sheba, of course, hovered near us not wanting to miss a unique eating opportunity. (I stopped her.)
The counterbalance to being sick came shortly thereafter. I heard an unfamiliar noise and it was Ethel. She sometimes almost rolls over when she feels particularly warm towards me and she did it when I approached her. She leaned into my caress and so I picked her up and this wonderful kitty that hates to be picked up just settled into my chest purring like mad. I wanted the moment to never end. She remained very content in my arms until I put her down again.
Unfortunately I earned a demerit point in animal husbandry. I allowed the poor kitties to go without water for a while. I learned my lesson.
Saturday began with a challenge too, but a mental one. I had a chilling bout of doubt; the home and animals I chose suddenly felt like too much.
I started writing a post about how I felt and then deleted it. But it was therapeutic. It made me happy I’m a writer by nature. It’s wonderful that my passion delivered me insight and relief into a scary and unfamiliar state of mind.
I knew I had no choice but to keep trudging forward on this path I have chosen but I lost all sense of enjoyment and the thrill of anticipation so I went back to bed.
I felt better when I woke up in spectacular morning sunlight.
The birds were mad for food and suet and the children took long naps after the excitement of the night before night with Robin and Jay. My reading lamp arrived and it’s perfect. Now I can read in my favourite chair and look out the window instead of sitting on the sofa with my back to the window for light. Every day this place is a little more comfortable.
Mid afternoon I had two surprises: Patsy came by to visit and to give me a Christmas present. (Sometimes I feel badly that I just ignore the season.) And then I paid my bill at the lumber store. Yikes! The cost of the studio has turned out to be higher than I expected — but I did more than I expected as well.
It’s cloudy and it’s supposed to snow later. It’s supposed to snow tomorrow too and the entire week is expected to be cold so I have to keep the fire hot. I’m glad I have lots to eat and a project to undertake that I can do inside.
I’m going to get started on Mertz Manor — a maze/castle built of cardboard for Fred and Ethel (named for the Mertzes on I Love Lucy). When it’s finished it’s going up into the loft and I’m going to figure out a way for Fred and Ethel to get to it.

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