Hallelujah

April 8^th, 2016 was a completely normal day. But when I woke up on April 9^th, I could not talk and my life turned into a (mild) living hell: Up to twenty violent seizures a day and butchered speech. Three years and ten months later, I truly believe it’s virtually over. 

This morning, I took the ferry to Nanaimo and went shopping. I spoke fluently everywhere I went—even alone in the car. These are things I’ve been unable to do since that horrid day in April almost four years ago. 

I’ve talked frequently over the past few days with Telus and Lifeline because my phone line has been acting up. I talked to clerks and ferry personnel fluently in Nanaimo. I can do lots of things I haven’t been able to do since my breakdown. I realize that there may be hiccups ahead, but my fluency has been solid now for two weeks.

It occurs to me that there may be a connection between my recovery and stopping smoking marijuana daily. Marijuana is famously capable of inducing paranoia. Regardless of whether that’s a factor or not, I’m certain that my future is rosy. 

I thought I’d never get better. Twice, medical personnel said something to the effect that I would never recover. I took that to mean my symptoms would never stop, but I think they meant that my anxiety would never go away and I believe that. But something changed when Cathy called my episodes “indulgences.” 

She challenged me and I believe that helped me to understand these symptoms were capable of management—that I could fix myself. And here I am. Four years! Four years of recovery. And now here I am city-capable but living this island life with pets. 

What a trip I’ve been on!

More Clean-Up

The ground is too wet to rake, so clearing my huge backyard involves picking up each piece of twig and branch one at a time. I need to rid the lawn of it all because the gazillions of Fir needles render the soil too acidic for the grass if I don’t. 

I got a great start and I burned all I recovered. It was a perfect day for burning: There was wind and it was blowing towards the forest, not my neighbours, pus everything in the forest was soaking wet from the downpour of yesterday, so it was a safe day to burn.

There is a lot—a lot—more work to do! However, I can take my time. So after an hour plus of bending, dumping and burning, I went shopping in the village—mostly for the joy of driving in the sunshine. Yes! Sunshine! It was sunny all day! 

Then I took Her Highness for her second walk and there were lots of other dogs for her to play with because the day was so bright and sunny. When I got home it was time to read. I was done for the day with labour and duties. First, though, I enjoyed a wonderful time in the spa.

And I’ll be back in it today because last night was clear (and cool) and today has dawned with an optimistic sky. Today’s large dog walking group will likely be popular. Tomorrow’s predicted to be sunny, so today I’ll think about going to Nanaimo to do some supply shopping. It would be a welcome change in routine for Sheba and I.

•

In the village yesterday, I found I still have trouble speaking. My speech was jerky, but I can get words and even phrases out. I was actually surprised because with my fellow dog walkers and my animals, I do very well. Using the phone is still troublesome but, frankly, who cares?

Weather Relief

After the torrential rain of yesterday, this morning has dawned brighter and there’s no rain (yet). There’s still naught but rain predicted, so these breaks are dear.

My Sweet Boxwood is blooming so my backyard, near my house, smells like Jasmine. It’s truly divine to come home and to exit the house to such a tropical smell. I absolutely love it and I take cuttings off it each summer to grow more around my yard.

•

I bought a tent to cover my car. It’s a convertible car, and I feel good about giving it some protection from the relentless winter rain. Recently, I started putting a tarp right on the car that I have to remove and replace each time I use the car. The tent is kind of ugly, but who cares? This is Gabriola! And it’s a smart move.

•

To test my improved mental health and to do some socializing with people, I’ve invited the Turner trio for dinner: Robert, Monica and James. They’re coming next weekend and I’m really looking forward to it. They are siblings of my good friend and their sister, Paula; they are vibrant and interesting people.

I am fluent with my fellow dog walkers and incidental people I meet at the park and I have been able to speak aloud to myself for two consecutive weeks now and these capacities prove my conviction of improvement. What I want to see is how things go with the Turners; I want to get through the evening fluently and without an indulgence.

•

Today, although it’s only 6°, I want to try to get more of the yard tidied up from the storms that now seem so long ago. I’ve done the whole yard except for the rather large lawns I laid last year, part of the front yard and the garden beds, so there’s still a lot to do.