Friday, May 24, 2024

Slow Going Continues

At noon, yesterday, I kit the fire. I was sick of being cold in the house. The logs keep my place cool in Summer and warm in Winter. The cool nights here keep my place from heating up, so I lit a fire so that the afternoon and evening would be warmer. After lunch, I took myself outside and into the sunshine to warm up. The sun was intermittent all morning but became brighter in the afternoon as the thin cloud burned off.

Ron walked Sheba at 1:00, and I got busy with trimming the Ivy that is growing on the wall of the shed. That was the only work I did all day. I can be so lazy. But tomorrow, I have vowed to get busy again and fertilize all my plants. It’s work that is long overdue. By evening, it had clouded over.

I can barely speak to my pets. I whisper instead. I’m scheduled to meet with Darryl on the weekend. I’ll see how it goes. I’ve been avoiding initiating communicating with anyone. Dr. Shoja and I know that the agenda for next time is the decline in my speech. Dr. S. betrayed a concern that something is akilter. I have no idea what word to use there, at the end of that sentence, but she set the agenda for our next session, in response to my question about getting worse.

The problem may be self-perpetuating. I hate my impediment. I get frustrated, I always apologize for my speech. I feel compelled to, and that’s because I feel it must be a burden to listen to me. I don’t really know what it’s like to talk with someone who speaks as poorly as I often do.

I’m mute in some places here, and everywhere I go off the island. So, on the one hand, I’ve been lucky to be able to speak, sometimes well, other times not well, with my friends. That is what’s getting harder and harder to do. At least it is an affliction that doesn’t hurt. I look forward to talking with Dr. Shoja next month.

Rain this morning. I am returning to fitness to see how it goes.

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