A Bastard Goes Into The Woods

Steve (my ex; we broke up in 1994) continues to be a huge part of my life. He is my soul partner still. He has a long-time boyfriend, Tim, who is a gem and yesterday Tim sent me this link to a film that absolutely shattered me (in a good way).

Heaven Is A Traffic Jam On The 405 is a documentary short film that was nominated for an Academy Award this year.

If you’re a friend of mine and confused about my mental state (my seizures, my speech, my anxiety, my sensitivity to crowds and sounds) watch this film! Mindy Alper has the same condition as me for almost the same reasons as me. I suffered no sexual abuse but I had one abuser parent (Connie) and one passive parent whose passivity was as destructive as the abuse — just like Mindy.

We’re both creative; both outsiders and we both work in paper maché. And we both syllable stutterer — our speech can be so severely restricted we can only say polysyllables one syllable at a time.

I found it really hard to watch. Thank God, I was able to see this in the privacy of my home. I was hyperventilating watching it; it was incredibly therapeutic for me to see.

At the Oscars, they talked a lot about Diversity. The British woman who signed her acceptance speech touched my soul. Frances McDcDormand’s two words were “Diversity; Rider.”  (She’s suggestion to Hollywood megastars that they put riders in their contract demanding diversity on the set.)

I’m Diversity now, so she and the movement moved me as #MeToo moves many women.

This magnificent film and Mindy gave me that priceless “you are not alone” feeling.

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And that ex of mine, Steve, also has a sister. Her name is Lydia and I have adored her since the minute I met her. It was love at first sight and I’m a huge fan of her husband, David, and their children. Their son Gene exploded into my heart when he was born. Both her children are dear to me, but Gene was my first babysitting experience and I fell totally and deeply for him.

Anyway … Lydia and David are coming to visit. They will be here to help with my Sunday night Daylight Saving Time dinner.

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The weather forecast is for temperatures to reach 15° next week. And the dreaming begins…

The faggot, unbundled. (Read below.)

A bastard (moi) went into the woods at the end of my street today with Sheba and came home carrying one seriously heavy faggot. (That’s it, unbundled, above.) I have never ever used the F word in its true context before. Some walks I pick up lichen to cover the surface of my planters; sometimes it’s pinecones. Today it was a faggot of fallen Alder and it will go on my fence.

I have the fence panels to finish, the sign to finish, gardens to create, baking to do and my ladies to repair. I’ve never experienced such a glut of opportunity. And I can recover from my exertion in my beloved hot tub before evening cuddles with the pets. Pinecone Park & Spa truly is Paradise.

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Today’s goals are to bring some order to the shed (it’s a disaster right now) and to map out with wire markers where I want the courtyard. I think Darrell will be back to put the gutter onto the porch and do the interior.

The Shasta Daisy was developed by Luther Burbank.
He is one of my Heroes. I have been to his farm in
Santa Rosa, California. The man was both a botanist
and a humanitarian with many extraordinary
accomplishments to his credit. I admire him hugely. 

I Am Trained

I, Bernedoodle and double-Bengal owner, have been trained:

• Never leave a closet door, cupboard or drawer open.
• Never leave boxes, suitcases, purses or packages open or accessible.
• Go to the bathroom alone and close the door after you when you go in or out.
• Share all toast and apples.
• Anything and everything under 5 pounds is a toy. Don’t leave anything out that you want later.
• Want to cook? Feed and exhaust both cats.
• Want to write? Feed and exhaust Sheba.
• Want time alone? Feed and exhaust all animals.
• If you want to be left alone, don't crinkle cellophane. 
• If you don't want to feed the pets, don't crinkle cellophane. 
• All exposed liquids will be tasted.

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I’ve traded boredom for exhaustion. Last night I went to bed at eight, exhausted after a day of doing nothing in particular — just another day of constant motion.

I remember countless days in Vancouver when I’d wake up and wonder what the Hell I was going to do. Boredom drove me to become a long-distance walker and project conjurer. Here, three buildings, three pets and half an off-the-grid acre keep me going… and going and going. But I’m glad Darrell wants to do the courtyard. The thought of lifting all the pavers makes my joints creak.

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I keep thinking about Africa. This morning, on my early morning walk with Sheba, I realized why. Only here on Gabriola and in Africa have I walked through a mixed landscape of nature and man-made structures at length and entirely alone.

I’m an urban/village person. I never ventured into wilderness. But here, as in Africa, I’m in both concurrently and I love it. The frequent neighbourhood walks I now take, undertaken to keep Sheba from digging, have proven as beneficial to me.

I’m very “wrapped up” in my own space but my walks remind me that the whole island is paradise.

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Yesterday evening I went out to top-up the bird feeder. There was a small Pileated Woodpecker eating suet as I approached so I stepped softly. She saw me; she’d eat, then check me out and then go back to eating in an endless cycle. I got to two feet from her and froze. It was such a privilege to be so close. It made me tear up. I’m convinced the regulars recognize me. The Jays that have gone somewhere, replaced by the Thrushes, used to pester me for food.

Look how high his sporran is. 

The Pool of Hotel Villa Honegg in Switzerland

This is a large GIFF so let it load if you see a blank square.
It's worth waiting; trust me.

The Courtyard is Happening

The sunshine at dawn was a tease. The day turned overcast, cool and damp but it didn’t rain so Sheba went for a walk.

We did something I’ve long wanted to do. We walked down my street to Wild Cherry and into a lot that is open and undeveloped. It has a trail into it and it’s on the bluff — cliff more like. It’s really steep. Here are my photos:

Click on the image to enlarge it.

I bought a small freezer in September and brought it over here as part of the move. It was still in the box in the shed so I opened it and set it up in my kitchen. Because there are so many power failures, it’s better to concentrate the things requiring auxiliary power, so I set up the freezer in the kitchen. Doing so reduces the network of extension cords between the generator and the devices it feeds.

I’m going to take full advantage of the farmer’s markets this summer. I plan to fill the freezer with things to serve me well through next winter.

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Mid-morning something made me wonder where Sheba was. I looked around and couldn’t find her in either the house or the yard. I started panicking then Darrell and I got in our cars and started driving around. This was not like her at all; she doesn’t even like going for walks.

She came back and I know now how attached I am. I also know she knows a way out of the yard. Darrell and I had a walkabout and cannot figure out how she did it. I’ll monitor her while she’s in the yard until I do.

Darrell’s stile is ideal. I am going to feel so safe getting in and out of the hot tub - le bain de mon âme. He did it all today. I’ve asked him to do the interior of the porch in Cedar and I also asked him about the courtyard.

He liked my plan and is going to do the work. That feckin’ thrills me. I had thought to do it myself, with Paula’s help, but he’ll do a better job and faster. I’m going with large concrete paving stones with a wide space between them so I can plant creeping thyme in the gaps.

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Now I’ off to get another Rhodo for Sheba’s Hole to China project and then I’ll try the new stile and have a hot tub. Life is tough.

Oscars

The Oscars were dull; everything, including the digs at Meryl Streep, was predictable.

Gary Oldman won Best Actor as predicted to the dismay of the #MeToo movement.

Guillermo del Toro’s win for Best Director and his picture’s win for Best Picture were overshadowed by the copyright infringement claim against him in the courts.

The things I liked were:

• Kumail Nanjiani’s speech and sense of humour.
• Andra Day’s jewelry. Just wow! (She sang Stand Up for Something from the movie, Marshall.)
• Margot Robbie’s dress — actually, the straps.
• The comedy of Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph. (I’ve always loved Maya Rudolph.)
• All the shorts (animated and live action); based on their trailers shown on the show, I want to see them all somehow.
• Rita Moreno. Did you notice her shoulders? The woman doesn’t age; she looked beautiful. And I loved seeing her scene from - as her introduction.

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Today is sunny and it’s supposed to last a few days. It’s the warmer temperatures I like. It’s so much more comfortable hot tubbing. I’ve become an addict. Darrell is back to work on the porch and the stile today. My goals are simpler: Plant another Rhodo in Sheba’s interrupted Hole to China, tidy up the shed and do another quadrant on the Pinecone Park & Spa Sign.

Friday marks the end of my 23^rd month with an impossible stutter; Wednesday marks the end of my 5^th month living on Gabriola. Sunday is my favourite day of the year. It always has been, so I’m hosting a party.

This week’s big project is to choose the menu and prepare the food. Fine cuisine is a challenge on Gabriola, even with Nanaimo close by. They don’t have many of the ingredients I like — Kataifi for example. But I have a freezer, so come April I am going to go to Vancouver just to shop for the unavailable materials I like and stock up.

Patsy and Jay are coming. Patsy I’ve know of, but not known, has been my mentor here. Jay I met here. He’s the brother of a friend. Maggie and Michelle I don’t know at all. Michelle runs the Arts Council and Maggie is her partner. I met them through Patsy.

Courtyard

This is my courtyard. It's situated between my studio (left), the shed (straight ahead; my garage) and my house (to the right). I'm planning to cover part of the courtyard with pavers as I use it as a driveway and there's a lot of foot traffic between the three buildings.

Sign Progress

I awoke this morning charged by all I’d accomplished yesterday and keen to maintain the pace. Plus, it was sunny.

I began by taking Sheba for a walk in the dark. Then I collected all the fallen branch bits in the yard and burnt them in my garden incinerator.

Then I went through the loft and hall closet culling and sorting stuff into marked containers. My home is a tribute to channeled OCD and tireless energy. (I once read that people who feel out of control in life like to exercise total control over their home home environment; that could be me.)

Then I started work on my Pinecone Park & Spa sign. Darrell left me a professional ladder to use; it was a joy to work with such a feeling of safety this time. I did a second quadrant but it’s slow work. Plus, it’s down and up the ladder every time I drop something. But I persevered. It’s half done (see above).

Then the clouds rolled in so I got into the hot tub to chill before the Oscars broadcast.