Merry, Merry!

Tuesday began so clear and bright. I fetched wood in moonlight and starlight and then came thundering rain. But not for long. It quickly cleared again and so we enjoyed a beautiful sunrise and then bright inspiring sunshine, and I knew that there’d be no problem with Paula’s Hullo ferry ride to Nanaimo.

I cleaned and tidied all morning before taking Her Highness for a nice slow walk. I even washed the floors and some windows—you know how sunlight reveals all the dust bunnies and cobwebs! And then, we waited and passed some of the time with our second walk of the day. Then, at 3:15, we went to the terminal to fetch Paula.

We stopped for bread on the way home and then settled in for the evening. Paula was thrilled with the curried seafood soup I made—we had it with an assortment of wild rice—and we both loved the lemon meringue pie for dessert. We watched two movies and chatted often about what we were watching, and we were both happy to go to bed around ten.

The cats and Sheba woke me up early, but from four am to five, I just lay in bed and enjoyed being so warm and comfortable. I got up at five to feed the brood and light the fire, and then I got comfy on the couch with Sheba for a wee rest before Paula arose and our day began.

Merry, merry Christmas!

Paula is Due Today

Monday passed uneventfully. I had my monthly appointment with Dr. Shoja, and we walked under heavy skies but without rain, we shopped and we napped. Also, I made a big batch of my favourite seafood curry soup to serve Paula tonight. The end.

Today began under clear skies when I got up at five am. I fetched wood to start the fire by walking in bright moonlight. By six, there was wind and heavy rain. Sigh. I shall hope the weather doesn’t prevent Paula from arriving and going home. We have a string of powerful storms coming this week according to Environment Canada. If she can’t make it, I’ll have a lot of food to eat on my own.

Paula is due to arrive in the afternoon. I shall hope she makes it. I went to the Hullo ferry website and there are no notices of cancellations or delays. She’ll find no evidence at all of the holiday at Pinecone Park. I am just not into Christmas. However, there is pie, a fire (with cones made to turn the flames to blue and green), lots of food (ham for our Christmas meal) and there are pets galore happy for attention.

Merry Christmas my friends!!!

Thursday Was Gloriously Sunny!

I stopped inviting people over in August. The last time I had friends here I had the worst seizure that I’ve had since the onset of my curse. I’ve always loved baking and cooking, but it’s always been a bit of a nerve-wracking experience for me. I’d say half the time, I discover the next day that I forgot to serve a course or an important condiment. I’ve decided to continue not to host a meal until after my heart tests at the end of January. I’ve also cut down on my walks with my friends. Whenever they walk the Ricki Ave. trail, I don’t go. 

Also, its Christmas. There was no Christmas most of my life with the Tyrells. Don would go to be with Connie, his wife, a paraplegic in a care home, and Rita, his girlfriend and Connie’s nurse. Being in that environment, rich with the aroma of sterility and linoleum and full of people without boundaries, wasn’t my idea of a place to spend Christmas. So, I stayed home alone.

When I got older and made friends, they’d often invite me to be part of their Christmas celebrations. I quickly learned to always say that I had other plans, and that was to stay home. I’d get an intense ‘I don’t belong here’ feeling’ every time and not belonging was like life with the Tyrells and I’d had enough of that.

 I credit that sorry story of childhood isolation for my capacity to enjoy solitude. I’m getting quite a lot of it lately. I’m looking forward to a couple of days with Paula starting tomorrow.

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To distance myself from the Tyrells, I started sleeping on a hide-a-bed in our wreck room in the basement. It had a fireplace. That’s where my love of fire was born. It also had quite a large bookcase full of books. I got started reading, Balzac, Eugene Field, Charles Dickens, a large library of classics in an edited and illustrated form, and many other books I cannot remember.

I loved Charles Dickens stories, but what hit me hard was a pair of books about war. One was, Let’s Do Better by Monroe Leaf. (I fucking cannot believe that title came to mind as I prepared to explain that I’d forgotten the title!) It is a child-like cartoon story of war that, in the end, has the planet devoid of life. Then there was a hardback book called Herbie. It was a collection of stories about Herbie, a soldier in the second world war.

That story and those cartoons burned the horror of war into my young impressionable mind. Later, when I was discovering that I was gay, the one benefit was an excuse to avoid conscription, should it ever come. War makes me despair about our species. As does poverty, the lack of empathy in capitalism, and what we have done to nature, animals, our air and our oceans. And my anger and disgust has become more intense since the onset of my broken brain.

Last night I watched The Book Thief on Prime. It’s set in the war and is emotionally wrenching. I was a wreck for many minutes at the end. I was in deep despair because at the end of the movie, a boy who is prominent and adorable in the film, is killed by a bomb. And I just fell apart. I was deeply, deeply disturbed. The books came to mind and made it all worse.

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Tears aside, we had a nice day. The cats slept all day. Sheba and I walked twice when it wasn’t raining, but last night was heavy rainfall and gusty winds. The was very loud on the roof, and I love it. There were no bangs of cones and branches landing on the roof. It’s my favourite way to go to sleep, hearing the weather on the roof.

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Today will be busy. I’ve cooking to do, and I saw Dr Shoja this morning. It’s now 12:30 and I need a nap.

Winter Solstice

Saturday’s rain began as daylight broke. It’s so wet that we can’t walk the Elder Cedar trail because it’s impossible for someone as old and unsteady as me to cross the creek. It is roaring and the stepping stones that I normally use to cross the creek are under over six inches of water, so Her Highness and I walked out local short trail instead. And then we came home to our paradise of a warm and cosy home. The cats were both very attentive all day. I guess that they missed us yesterday.

I needed to vacuum, so I did, and then I was too tired to do the rest of the chores needing doing, so I hit the chaise to read for a while before lunch. I felt that lunch would recharge me, and I could continue with the chores. One problem is the kitty litter. I got three boxes of it when I was in Nanaimo, and I can’t make it from the car to the house with one box, and I don’t want to put it down because everything is soaking wet out there, and the box is cardboard.

It's the same with the enormous bag of dog food. So, I decided to wait until there was a break in the rain, and then to use the wheelbarrow to get the heavy things from the car to very close to the front door. Sigh. I can hardly wait for my heart tests and a fix!

More rain is coming today. Every day this week will be wet, but with the rain come warm Winter temperatures. It’ll be another chill day, but I’ll be picking up speed tomorrow, as Paula arrives on Tuesday.