Monday, September 28, 2015

Post Traumatic Stress Euphoria

It’s the dawn of a new day.

I took the photo above at 7:16 am today. See that gorgeous full moon shining through the golden sunlight of dawn and signaling the start of a new cycle? I am starting over too!

I have Post Traumatic Stress Euphoria. I have been up for almost two hours and I haven’t had a single spasm of pain so far. I just wiped away my tears of relief, joy and disbelief. Last Thursday, in the vice grip of the worst pain I can ever remember having I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. Today though, I cried at the moment of acceptance that it was over.

I am still walking as though I have pain. I walk like a man on a tightrope because I don’t yet trust my limb and in my ability to walk. I have come through hell…

But I went to heaven. My reunion was joyous. I have reconnected with so many people with whom to propose a meal or a walk—dare I plan long walks again?

This is my new life plan: To celebrate my self-imposed home exile. Last night with Pam and Ross and Cimbar is how I want to spend as much of the rest of my life as I can in the company of good food, good wine and good friends…. And not moving…. And no projects, no travelling, and no guilt. Oh, and dessert.

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