Thursday, August 21, 2014

Good Weather, No Responsibilities Ahead

A seawall day if ever there were one. Sunny and spectacularly warm without being hot — all with the mindset that it soon will end. But while it is here, and with no marking, all projects on hold or in-hand, life is so great that awareness of all my current blessings can be very intense.

Today, I passed a man berating a woman and I could not help myself, I plugged my ears hard for many minutes tears streaming down my face and thinking non-specifically of Dad. This behaviour is the legacy of living with an angry bully of a father when I was young.

The smell of the sea, the sound of gulls and the sound of rigging on metal masts is a sensory banquet of emotions and memories — all good.

Sometimes I wonder how I have arrived at this age so happy in spite of not having a child. I wonder how much of my core sorrow is due to not having been a parent. And I wonder how parents let go and think maybe parenting would have been too intense for me.

Today was heavenly… walking with nothing at all on my agenda today. No errands no objectives except to enjoy the walk. And then, at the end of my walk, I got a salad and spicy tuna roll from Kadoya and ate on the lawn in the sunshine, got on a bus and went to Aquariums West and got some beauty new guppies for my tank.

More of same tomorrow. Then to Victoria by seaplane on Saturday and back on Sunday.

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