Saturday, August 2, 2014

Pride Weekend

This is my new mandala. It is a 36" diameter rug made of little balls of felted wool. 
They are dyed with vegetable dyes and hand-stiched together. 
It is the perfect accent to my felted wool green wall.

Phase One: We met at the beach and I was instantly, deeply in love in a way that hurt. I carried his photo around with me as life support.

Phase Two: After a year of long-distance dating, he moved to Vancouver and we set up life together. The honeymoon lasted, for me, a long time.

Phase Three: Ennui.

Phase Four: Separation after 14 years. We did it right; with a mediator and each of us as concerned with the other as with ourself.

Phase Five: The first two years after our separation was, HELL. Steve spent year two in Italy. We could not see each other, but we remained close and stayed in constant touch on the phone and by email.

Phase Six: I get AIDS; he becomes my best friend. We vacation together often and on one vacation together in India, I feel more love for him than I have ever felt before.  Every time he leaves is like breaking up again.

Now: He was just here for a week but there are no more tears when he leaves. Instead, I am relieved to see him go because although we are still compatible as left and right gloves, he has evolved in a direction opposite very different than mine. I like the very quiet and solitary life and he is a frenzy of partying and people; he is never alone.

His current, Tim, was here too. Gentle Tim is a mediating influence and he is good company. A week of so many people is overwhelming for me and today will be a day of quiet, solitary recovery. YES! And by tonight, I will be wanting to relive our visit with Steve on Skype.

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