Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Oh, the Sorrow

 The man.

  • "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time."
  • "Ah yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
  • "If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
  • "Do you think God gets stoned? I think so. Look at the Platypus."
  • "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
  • "We Americans, we're a simple people…but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities."
  • "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
  • "You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married say, "It's the same sex all the time."
  • "Never fight with an ugly person… they have nothing to lose."

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