Saturday, July 29, 2023

The Miracle!!

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I am saved. CAYA has saved me. When they were here, I cried, I seized and I danced. Rheanne and Nic were young miracles. I love them and CAYA. I am bursting with excitement.

I thought CAYA was coming to decide if they could help me. But they didn’t. They came already committed to helping and they brought solutions. I couldn’t believe it, and that is why I cried. Six years I searched for solutions to no avail. Kris found out about CAYA about 2 months ago and contacted them.

They care going to give me a new iPad mini and an app that is amazing. Plus, they’re giving me a keyboard to use with the iPad, that permits me to type more quickly. Best of all, they’re giving me a device that will generate speech to advise people who phone me that I have a speech problem and to be patient. I dreamed of such a device but never thought I’d have one.

And everything they provide is free. I pay nothing. CAYA is funded by the government of BC, and for some reason, that really moved me; most of us don’t get special benefits from our government. And the relief! Finally, after 7 years of seeking guidance or assistance, I get exactly the help I’ve been seeking for years. It seems miraculous. Both Kris and I were crying in response to Rheanne’s and Nic’s program and their kindness. What a way to start my day.

I floated through the rest. Of my day. 

I went to 5 speech therapists and not one of them would take me on. I could never figure out why, but I concluded it was because stuttering isn’t really curable. Plus, I went through a panic admission when I. lost my speech, but that led to the Pacific Speech Clinic and Dr. Shoja. That was fortuitous. She helped me understand my condition, process and accept the idea of childhood trauma being the cause, and learn to live with the symptoms. I went to another speech therapist, an internationally renowned one, who also turned me down.

No one told me about CAYA. I can’t believe that.

Kris is a very, very empathetic person. She is kindness incarnate, and she offered to help me. I told her that my biggest problem was answering the phone and I elaborated. That’s how we came to CAYA. I celebrate Kris for finding CAYA, but I asked the question. I do not say that to take away from what Kris did. I’m just saying that I asked for help with a specific problem, and that allows me to say that virtually everything that has helped me speak—using a mirror, memorizing with rhyme, using an accent, touching my face.

You’ve been reading me here for a long time. I have documented my struggles and adjustments, so you will know that that’s all I did. I didn’t wine or feel sorry for myself; I didn’t complain. I documented the problems to inform about solutions. I had a ‘shit happens’ attitude and carried on. But the dam broke today with Rheanne and Nic.

To experience the gifting of miraculous, practical and ideal tools was overwhelming. To find that R&N had a doctors’ bag of tools and software with them to show me that will powerfully empower me. And it surprised me to be triggered to tears by their comment that they were funded by the provincial government. To feel such deep, deep gratitude for kindness from our government truly moved me.

I get all my equipment in a month. (When I typed that sentence, I burst into tears.) And a person names Jan is coming to train me. Rheanne (more tears) will be checking on me every six months.

Finding my birth mother. I thought that would be a 10. It was a 10, but then I had to subtract about 4 for the anxiety and angst I experienced. Today was a 10.

And more good news (for me): I’ve no tingling in my left leg this morning and there may be a fractional improvement in the movement of my toes and ankle. Today I’ll do some shopping and minor garden work. That’s my modest plan for the day, plus time for some reading, a spa lazing in the sun on Nancy’s zero-gravity chair. (I bought myself a zero-gravity chair yesterday.) 

Some photos from John:

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