Church

Days go by so very smoothly at Pinecone Park. Time flows like honey here.

When Sheba was delivered, I have a vivid and clear memory of thinking: “What the fuck have I done.” Visions of inconvenience flipped through my imagination. Most of all, I dreaded all the walks I would have to take—especially in bad weather.

Yesterday, as I walked along a trail that begins very close to home, I realized that my forest walks have become a religious practice—when I am only with Sheba. Feeling part of nature, being in nature reminds me of all that I am part of. The forest makes me think big. Walking the forest trails is going to church. 

I need my church of nature because I have no faith in mankind. I think capitalism and nationalism has turned us into horrid things. I think politics is a ruse to make us all ignore that the real power is corporate. Competition, survival of the fittest; capitalism fits our genetic predisposition.

In high school, for an assignment in my English class, I lipped the phrase, “Ignorance is bliss,” to consider instead, “Knowledge is misery.” I did not like the math program I was on, and I did not like the acceleration program. Participation in both was justified by my aptitude. So, I felt flipping the phrase hit more to the point. My pessimistic view of the future is consistent with the theme of my essay. My despair about us is lifelong.

And that’s why I’m with Nero. I have no interest in the news, or politics, even local issues. I have chosen disengagement as a therapeutic tool. And to stay true to my faith in disengagement, I go to church twice a day.

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Last night I watched a film on Netflix, The Greatest Night in Pop (yes, I am getting desperate for visual entertainment). It was surprisingly good. I found it interesting and moving. Two things: (1) When all the artists are assembled together in the studio late at night, Quincy Jones calls for quiet, but it is hard to get. When he does get their attention, he introduces Bob Geldof who makes a speech about the conditions of life in Ethiopia, where the money raised by the song would go. When Mr. Geldof spoke, I was quickly weeping. 

What hurt, was to know that my country and many others responds, financially, to Ukraine, but allows famine live somewhere in the world every day.

Another thing that really got to me was that when the recording was done, either Quincy Jones or Lionel Ritchie thanks everyone, particularly Harry Belafonte who initiated the project. And what happens next is very moving as all the assembled artists pay tribute to the man.

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It’ s teeming with rain this morning. Her Highness and I won’t be doing the big community dog walk this morning.  Instead, we’ll take a short walk, if and when it stops, and the remainder of the day will be indoors by the fire.