Stasis and order. That’s what I want. So if something goes missing or breaks, I immediately need to fix or replace it. I am compelled to get things “back to normal.”
Stasis is my idea of what it is to be content. I am at peace when everything stays as it is and must be. Peace is order.
If I go shopping and see something I really like. I can’t get it out of my mind. I have to get it or find a way to “justify” not getting it. Wanting it creates energy and changes the status quo. Things are not normal until the object is bought or rationalized away.
Often, when the object is bought. More are bought in different colours.
And then there are the ideas. Ideas come from two places: My mind or my eyes or the two working together. And once an idea takes hold, it becomes like the object seen in the store. It has to be realized or intellectually killed so that things get back to normal—so things are static.
I cannot procrastinate. My mantra is: Why put off until tomorrow what can be done today? I was the first to submit assignments.
I have never awakened to an alarm clock in 67 years.
Even the downside is okay.
- My home is pristine. I know where everything is. Everything.
- I never mix foods. It seems odd to many, but you get pure tastes that way.
- Watching TV can't happen until everything on the table is arranged in its place.
- Routine is king. I eat in the same restaurants and eat the same thing every time. All I have to do is walk in and sit down and the servers know everything.
My name is Chris. I have non-clinical OCD.