As I walk today, I will be contemplating the irony of being in a constant state of ecstasy due to doing things I never did my whole life. I can't stop wondering if I could have had a very different and more fulfilling life had I had the courage to be a creative theatre artist.
I feel dually blessed: I am creative enough to succeed at the professional level but I also do well as an arts administrator, and administrators have more regular hours and better pay. I was a chicken. I lacked confidence and paid the price. At least, in retirement, I am enjoying the experiences I missed.
Before, I wanted to write because writing was far, far more rewarding than administration. And I still want to write, but now I want to write so that I can make things. It is the making things, that thrills me. Glue, tape and scissors are my best friends. And the aisles of the dollar stores (especially the Japanese ones), Michael's, Opus, bead stores, the Punjabi Market and The Party Store are becoming favourite walk destinations.
I can't say I have regrets. Just questions.